There’s always something better than a Game 7

It's become a cliché, which is unfortunate, because clichés are supposed to be true.

'There's nothing better than a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup playoffs.”

Granted, a Game 7 in the National Hockey League's playoffs is pretty good stuff. Especially if it goes to overtime. However, to say there's nothing better is beyond ridiculous. Among things that are better:

1. Getting released from the dentist's office.

2. Getting released from a federal prison.

3. Getting released from the dentist's office of a federal prison, then getting released from that prison a minute later.

4. Good dogs. The ones that are friendly and seem happy to be petted, and only bark when they are provoked and barking is a perfectly reasonable reaction. Which it is from time to time. But good dogs bark judiciously.

5. Exit-row seats in airplanes. I'd say first-class seats, but that's something I don't know much about other than I always walk past them seething with bitterness each time I board a plane.

6. In N' Out Burger. Or Five Guys. Or in southwest Cedar Rapids, Burgerfry.

7. Final episodes of television series you loved. They're bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter. Within the last six months alone we've seen the end of 'The Late Show with Craig Ferguson,” 'The Colbert Report,” 'Parks and Recreation” and 'Justified.” The final shows of each were sublime. And in the coming weeks and months, we'll get the last of 'Mad Men,” 'The Late Show with David Letterman” and 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” If you favored Jay Leno or favor Jimmy Fallon over Letterman, we can never be true friends. I hate to be hardheaded about that, but once you start bending your principles you have nothing.

8. A chocolate toffee pretzel. I had one in the Whole Foods in Augusta, Ga., a few weeks ago. I went back the next day for another, and they were gone. I went back again a few days later as I was about to drive out of town, and they were still gone.

9. Kauai. New York City. Dublin. Big Sur. Paris. Or so I've heard.

10. Anyone willing to put up at least $50 and have a percentage of my action in the World Series of Poker's Seniors event in June. Email mike.hlas@thegazette.com if you're interested. I'm serious. Last year's runner-up in that event was from Cedar Rapids, and he took home $388,000.

11. Stumbling on to a great music act and watching as the rest of the world gradually notices and praises it. I discovered the Beatles in Hamburg in 1962. If I'd been able to get them to let me manage them, well, you've got put aside regrets after a half-century.

12. Being on the right side of history. In hindsight, it always seems to be the way to have gone.

13. Casa Vega.

14. Monkeys

15. Aimee Mann singing 'Red Vines” and 'Save Me.”

16. That moment you take the snow brush out of your car until next winter. I need to remember to do that.

17. The security of knowing you could probably get a job working the overnight shift at Walgreen's if all goes awry in your professional life.

18. The realization you aren't an employee or relative of Donald Trump.

19. Not being at Disney World.

20. A Game 7 of a good NBA playoff series. Or a Game 7 of a World Series. Or a World Cup final. Or a Super Bowl. ...