A fistful of funny Mega Millions Tweets

@ClayTravisBGID Just bought lottery ticket at downtown Nashville gas station. Like last plane out of Saigon right now.

@onlytheo That line is stoopid at the gas station bout them lottery tickets...smh I just wanted some Sour Patch Kids...

@AllanAcosta86: Losing tonight's lottery will be more disappointing then the children I will have in the future

@jowyang: If I win the CA lottery tonight I'm gonna buy Twitter and make all tweets 280 characters!

@TheFakeCNN: As Mega millions lottery draws near, many Americans will soon be Mega disappointed and remain Mega broke.

@johnbjaeger: Odds of me throwing something at the next list of unlikely things more likely than winning this stupid lottery - even.

@SaraESpivey: Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

@SofiaVergara: If I win the lottery tonight I refuse to take that picture with the huge huge silly check hahajajaja!!!

@OMGFacts: You're more likely to die from a vending machine than win the $640 million Mega Millions jackpot tonight