Hlastradamus: Like last week, he has Hawkeyes vs. the spread

Hlastradamus knows you tire of a world with so much look-at-me and ain't-I-great.

He knows a lot of things, actually. That's why I run his predictions here instead of those from the media mopes who think they're so smart, but end up with their mouths full of feet when upsets like Iowa over Michigan and Pittsburgh over Clemson occur.

Close your mouths, media mopes! And dress like adults for once in your lives!

But the prophet digresses. He's also indulging himself in look-at-me and ain't-I-great. He told you Iowa would cover against Michigan last week. Some told him he was mad as a hare or a hatter. Some accused him of pandering.

Some, however, heeded his word and reaped the rewards of doing so. And now he has returned yet again with more prophecy guaranteed to lift your lifestyle. It's up to you to pay the increased insurance rates.

Iowa -10 at Illinois

The Illini lost by 25 points to North Carolina, by 24 to Western Michigan, and by 23 to Minnesota. All in Champaign.

And, they lost at home to Purdue.

Iowa can handle the 10 points.

Minnesota +1 vs. Northwestern

This is the kind of game in which legends are made.

Just kidding. It isn't.

Nebraska -13 vs. Maryland

Maryland has lost its last two games by a combined score of 121-6.

This one didn't require as much as a quick peek at the crystal ball. If the Huskers haven't handled this handily, heck, who has hope in Hastings?

Michigan State +22.5 vs. Ohio State

The Spartans haven't lost by 23 points at home in forever.

Yes, they did lose by 24 points at home to Wisconsin in September. But not by 23 points.

Penn State -28 at Rutgers

This is so many points on the road, at a place where Penn State is not liked. So very many points.

It's also a Penn State team trying to win its way into the College Football Playoff playing ... Rutgers.

Iowa State -3 vs. Texas Tech

This is a toughie, even for the prophet. He knows Texas Tech is second in the nation in total offense. But it's 128th in total defense. That's dead last.

That means the Red Raiders are half a team. Sure, that cuts down on travel expenses. But it's no way to cover point spreads.