All in the Family: Get to the root of school avoidance

Congratulations! You have successfully gotten kids back to school after a long holiday break and officially started 2015 off with minimal disasters. Kids have come to accept that 7 a.m. doesn't exist just in their dreams but is an actual time of day when things can be accomplished. You have mastered the bus schedule, and can even get the kids out the door before it leaves the bus stop. You have made a resolution to be organized this year, and so far haven't forgotten a lunch box, and the kids haven't forgotten their school bags. So now that kids are back into the routine of going to school, the next challenge you face is keeping them there.

School avoidance is a common problem for many children. It is most prevalent among kindergartners, but frequently reoccurs during the middle school years. It is common among all ages after long school breaks. Starting school again may be stressful for some children. Additionally, children who have experienced changes or stress at home may feel anxious about school. Some avoid school to avoid situations such as bullying or being left out of social groups.

Younger children tend to express anxiety and their desire to stay home when being dropped off at school. They cling to their parents like superglue, drag them back into the classroom, cry and scream, and basically make us feel like loser parents for sending them to school. Older children tend to develop mysterious illnesses that miraculously improve once the school day begins without them.

When it comes to school avoidance, the goal is for children to get back into school as quickly as possible. The longer they are away, the harder it will be to go back. If school does end up being missed, however, all extracurricular activities or social plans should also be missed. Have your child make up outstanding homework promptly so staying home is less attractive.

Try to figure out why your child is avoiding school. Be sure to listen to your child's concerns and acknowledge his anxiety. Do not punish your child or become angry with him for avoiding school, even though this behavior impacts you, or causes stress. If your child won't share what is making him anxious, then talk with the teacher and school counselor. Perhaps they have observed problems at school, or can alert you to academic concerns or social issues.

For younger children experiencing separation anxiety, try having a different adult bring the child to school. If this isn't possible, talk to the teacher ahead of time so she can help you make a clean get away. The best approach is a quick goodbye. Call or email the teacher later to find out how your child is doing.

School avoidance is a common problem for many children. While it may be tempting to keep your child home, it is best to support him by getting him back into school. If your child's fears become severe, or if safety concerns exist, then enlist the help of the school counselor or your pediatrician. By encouraging kids to make it to class they can get back to avoiding their chores instead of their homework.

'Ann-Marie Berg is a Cedar Rapids mom and pediatric nurse practitioner. Write to her at features@sourcemedia.net