Hlastradamus: Picking Hawkeyes and ... Rutgers?

Hlastradamus was once such a proud prophet. But you may have noticed he hasn't been bragging about going 4-1 last week, 12-3 over a three-week period, etc., like he has so much in the past.

This has been one of the seer's worst years, ranking right up there with 1555, 1616 and 1799. What happened then? Hlastradamus won't discuss it here, but look for details in his forthcoming book 'My Centuries-Long Life as a Professional Surfer.”

The prophet is nothing if not persistent. He has tossed his crystal ball into his crystal recycling bin, and is going with a combination of tea leaves and coffee grounds.

Iowa -12

vs. Minnesota

It's a lot of points. But Hlastradamus is far more in tune with vibrations than any auto mechanic you know.

And he says the vibes of the night game, the energy from the crowd, and the thirst of the Hawkeyes to avenge the brutal beating they endured in Minneapolis last year will lead to a win of at least two touchdowns.

Your earthly football forecasters don't rely on vibrations. They should, given how accustomed they are to the rattles in their heads.

Oklahoma State -14

at Iowa State

It's a lot of points. But Oklahoma State has a full head of steam, and is aiming to take a 10-0 record into its final two games, at home against Baylor and Oklahoma.

Iowa State, the seer fears, is running out of fuel. This isn't 2011, when the Cyclones jarred the solar system by beating Okie State at Jack Trice to eliminate them from the national-title picture.

Hlastradamus heard from a lot of fellow clairvoyants from around the cosmos after that deal. Some weren't very happy, saying Iowa State's unforgettable upset woke them from a 17-year nap.

Or were those cicadas?

Michigan State -14.5

vs. Maryland

Did you know the Washington Generals no longer play the Harlem Globetrotters? The Generals pulled the plug on that this summer after getting beaten at least 14,000 times - that's right, 14,000 - to the Trotters.

Well, the Maryland Terrapins are Big Ten football's Washington Generals. The league hired them to come in and take several beatings a year.

The Globetrotters hire their own refs. So does the Big Ten.

And Maryland's campus is just 10 miles from Washington.

Watch out for getting a bucket-full of confetti dumped on your heads in East Lansing, Terps.

Rutgers +8.5

vs. Nebraska

Rutgers football is the Big Ten's version of the New Jersey Reds. The Reds were one of the names the Washington Generals used.

The Rutgers Reds, er, Scarlet Knights, at least have one Big Ten win this year. But they've been outscored 257-115 in league play.

Hlastradamus has seen a lot of strange things in his many centuries as a sage. He's seen sweaters on dogs. He's seen people get neck tattoos when they were sober. He's seen Bob Dylan on television commercials.

He's even seen people try to build time machines. (They did it all wrong, by the way.)

But he never thought he'd see the century in which Nebraska-Rutgers was a Big Ten conference game.

Oklahoma +3

at Baylor

Big 12 football is four tornadoes in the Southwest. Baylor, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and TCU. The trouble is, they'll wipe each other out and will leave each other without a residence in the College Football Playoff.

This week, Hlastradamus says Oklahoma cuts enough of a swath through Waco to push Baylor out of the playoff yammering.

This could have been a monster game, a battle of unbeatens. But the Sooners lost to Texas last month.

Texas used to be a tornado. Many years, it was the twistiest tornado. Now it's the trailer court.