The Egg Man

CHICAGO - At Big Ten media days, ESPN gets its own time with players. We don't really know what happens. It's a time for maybe still pictures that go along with telecasts. Maybe some interviews. And, who knows, maybe they eat raw eggs whole, shell and all.

No, they all don't do that. Iowa defensive end Drew Ott did that.

Ott ate a whole raw egg, shell and all, during an interview with an ESPN reporter on Thursday.

Why do this, man? Why? Why?

'Protein, calcium,” he said.

The shell? There's nutrition in the shell? Or is that for style points?

'You eat the shell, there's nutrition. The shell has calcium. I think you might be able to absorb a little,” Ott said. 'Mostly style points.”

Ott said he's only started doing that lately. He doesn't like doing dishes. He really doesn't like doing dishes.

'When I started to have to cook my own breakfast, I was tired of cooking and then having to clean that pan. So, just eat the whole egg.”

There's a genius to that. Maybe Ott is a genius, in his way. He's the kind of character that you keep turning pages on because you know the next page is going to be even better than the last.

He'll have a shot to make money playing football, but if he doesn't, there's also hay bale tossing. He's won back-to-back tossing titles at Solon Beef Days. The key there, he said, is to pick up the small bales. He also could be the Evel Knievel of mopeds. He drove one home from Iowa City to Trumbull, Neb., in the summer of 2013. Last fall, he was in an accident on one while driving to class in Iowa City (shouldn't joke, but he laughs it off now).

'He's just the kind of guy who doesn't really care,” center Austin Blythe said. 'He'll just do whatever. He's the kind of guy who flies by the seat of his pants.”

That might explain the 'No. 1 Dad” T-shirt. He's worn a 'No. 1 Dad” tank top to class. He also owns a 'No. 1 Dad” T-shirt. He's either setting high goals or layering his life in irony.

'That gets a lot of questions asked,” Ott said. 'I don't have a child, by the way.”

He leans into the microphone on the lectern in front of him and says, 'Mom.” He really committed to the bit. And, don't worry, Sheree Ott is already in on this joke.

Why does he have a 'No. 1 Dad” T-shirt?

'It was like $5 at Wal-Mart,” Ott said. 'I just thought it'd be funny to wear home once and then I just started wearing it around.”

How did Mom react the first time she saw it?

'Mom's on to me,” he said. 'She knows I'm lying all the time. She wasn't buying into it.”

Purveyors of social media might remember in 2013 there was a close-up GIF of Ott (GIF is like a very short video) during a game with one finger on one nostril and a snot rocket flying out of the other. The Urban Dictionary on this is 'Farmer's Hanky.” Ott lives on a farm in eastern Nebraska and so he knows the move.

What's the most disgusting thing you guys do out there?

'I was going to say us blowing our nose and then hitting each other,” Ott said. 'That gets pretty nasty. You've seen that picture. It's all over your gloves, it's everywhere. It's just germs galore. That's probably the grossest part.”

As you can see, this isn't an idle mind. Ott is actually somewhere between dry dry dry humorist Stephen Wright and theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. Did you know the health and human physiology major has been academic all-Big Ten the last two seasons?

Question from Nebraska TV station: 'Do people back home TP your house?” Because, you know, he's from Nebraska and Nebraska has a pretty good football team that the state is really proud of and Ott is at Iowa (never mind the fact that he was never offered by Nebraska).

Ott: 'No, not yet. No one can find it out in the country, so it's safe.”

The 'No. 1 Dad” T-shirt thing has reached the highest of offices at the Iowa football complex.

'You need to sneak around campus sometime and see how he dresses,” head coach Kirk Ferentz said. 'He looks like a king-size nerd a lot of the times. I think he does things just to amuse himself. He's got a really good wit to him. He's very subtle, very dry, but if you're around him enough, you really learn to appreciate and enjoy him.”

The 'King-size Nerd” thing is good with Ott.

'That's a safe definition,” he said. 'I would say it's accurate. I'm a little out there, I'm a little different. I guess you have to be if you go against people who weigh 50-plus pounds more than you every play. You've got to be a little off.”

You feel as if Ott would've found some sort of outlet for this. He's 6-4, 270-something, so football fit really well. Maybe if he were 5-10, 150, he would've ended up a standup comedian.

'Maybe, I don't know about that,” he said. 'I don't know, something.”

Moped stunts are out. Hay bale tossing, the rush sounds addictive.

What do you get for that, by the way?

'You get a little trophy that says first place,” Ott said. 'It's about this big (maybe six inches). It's pretty cool.”

No. 1 Dad, No. 1 hay bale tosser, just No. 1 dude guy.

l Comments: (319) 398-8256; marc.morehouse@thegazette.com