Modern Manners: Make the gift-giving season truly memorable this year

The frenzied shopping days of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday will be upon us very soon. While it gives me great pleasure to give someone the perfect gift year-round, the holidays create the ultimate gift-giving gauntlet, which can be daunting even for a seasoned shopper or thoughtful giver.

Before you shop, have a plan

Gift planning for the holidays is the most important part of the process for your gift list and budget. Many important holiday gestures, like hostess gifts and tipping, exist outside of the usual holiday gifts. Throughout this season of giving, make the holidays jolly and bright by taking a thoughtful approach in how to show your appreciation to those in your life.

Budget

Create a holiday budget before you hit the stores or click that purchase button. Make a gift recipient list, create a budget and then calculate the amount per person. Don't allow yourself to feel stressed to overspend. Watch for discounts, coupons and online specials. If you're budget conscious, give homemade treats or DIY items. And the old rule still rings true, it is the thought that counts.

Host gifts

Always bring a host gift. Even if you're bringing food or libations to share. Opening a home to guests is a huge feat that requires planning, time and money. For gift ideas, think of something you would appreciate receiving if you were hosting. The holiday party circuit can run from November to February, so save yourself time and money by stocking up on well-priced bottles of wine, candles or kitchen accessories that you can take, especially with a last-minute invitation.

The new guest

If your son's girlfriend or daughter's college roommate are joining your family holiday when you exchange gifts, be sure to get something for them. Never let someone feel left out during the holidays, especially when gifts are exchanged. Coordinate beforehand to see who will be attending and plan gifts accordingly. No need for extravagance; a small, thoughtful gift will make someone feel special and welcomed.

Tipping

A holiday tip is a year-end cash gift to show appreciation to those that serve us all year such as a hairstylist, dog-walker or personal trainer. The cash amounts vary depending on service and relationship. However, the gift doesn't have to be cash, a small gift or baked good are both appropriate gestures.

Gift gaffes

Unless specifically requested, beware of gifts that may send the wrong message — fitness equipment, ill-sized clothing or household appliances. Aim to give gifts that are meant to be enjoyed. If someone gives you a gift, you must open the gift in their presence. Telling them you'll open it later is poor etiquette and lacks graciousness toward the giver. Once you do open something, never tell someone you don't like it or you'll return it. And if you receive a gift in the mail, always send a thank-you note if you cannot thank the giver in person.

My most fond holiday memories include making Christmas cookies with my mom, my grandfather playing games with all the cousins and having lunch with my dad while Christmas shopping. Sure, I loved seeing what Santa would bring, but now as an adult, I cherish the times spent with my family and growing up with the magic of the holidays, not all the presents I have long since forgotten.

Make this season meaningful in not only the gifts we give each other, but the time and memories we're giving to those around us. The presence of friends and family during the holiday season are the best gifts of all.

• Lauren M.G. Burt is a communications professional and etiquette adviser based in the Midwest. She believes in the importance of embracing etiquette and a return to civility. Contact her with questions or comments at features@sourcemedia.net.