Red mate, blue mate

CEDAR RAPIDS - In 1979, Kathleen Barnes married the man of her dreams.

Harold Barnes was a Big Brother, passionate about doing his part to make the world better, and he “believed very much in the dignity of people” - as did she. It wasn't until the first election after they wed that Kathleen Barnes realized her companion was stumping for the other side.

“I was like, ‘Oh my God,'” she said. “When we were dating I just assumed he was not a Republican because he had long hair and a long beard.”

Turns out, Harold Barnes is a conservative who since has served as co-chair of the Linn County Republican Party. Kathleen Barnes, on the other hand, comes from a long line of Irish Democrats.

“I thought, ‘Oh, dear God, the holidays are going to be interesting,'” she said.

The husband and wife, both 60 and of Cedar Rapids, are a rarity among American couples, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Politics that shows political leanings to be among the strongest shared traits in spouses. With the Iowa caucuses upon us, the Barnes remain a relationship anomaly in their refusal to share views on this year's political race.

“I don't know if he's planning to caucus,” Kathleen Barnes said. “He doesn't say, and I don't ask.”

The couple banned politics as a topic of conversation during George W. Bush's second presidential campaign in 2004, Kathleen Barnes said.

“My husband was voting for him and trying to convince me,” Kathleen Barnes said. “I said, ‘I like to think I married up intellectually, and if you continue to tell me why I should vote for Bush, I'll have to reassess.'”

The couple decided to agree to disagree, she said, and they haven't talked politics since.

“I'm not going to change his mind, and he's not going to change mine,” she said.

Harold Barnes said he is planning to caucus tonight in support of Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas. In fact, he's planning to be the temporary chair for his caucus site in Marion.

“My wife and I tend to talk things out - except for political stuff,” he said.

The opposite is true for most couples, according to the study analyzing physical and behavioral traits in thousands of American spousal pairs. Although couples don't necessarily pepper their potential partners with political questions on the first date, according to the study, most engage in a type of “sorting” to instinctively select partners with similar views.

The study found shared political attitudes to be more important for spouses than even qualities like personality or appearance. But it found little support for the idea that partners adopt one another's political beliefs over time, and that finding does ring true in the Barnes household.

“I knew from the get-go that there was no way of convincing her to do anything,” Harold Barnes said. “But that is one of the things that I like about her.”

The two said they have a great deal of respect for the other's opinions and are still very much in love after 32 years. Many of the country's political leaders could benefit from such an outlook, Kathleen Barnes said.

“I don't think we have enough respect for the opposition position, and I think that sets our society up to be living in factions,” she said.

John R. Hibbing, political science professor with the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and co-author of the politics in marriage study, agrees and said the study's findings are a bit “concerning” in what they might mean for American life and politics.

Neighborhoods and workplaces are becoming more divided, Hibbing said.

“If this is happening in the bedroom as well, you are not getting as much oppositional information as would be healthy,” he said. “It could be a contributing factor to the polarization we have today.”

Eventually, he said, politically aligned marriages might affect the next generation.

“And we won't have as many people in the middle,” he said. “It's healthy to be split politically, just like it's healthy to be in a neighborhood with some diversity.”

Kathleen Barnes said she and her husband are proof of that.

“We adore each other,” she said.

“I love her like crazy,” he said.