Modern Matters: Being kind, gentle is a sign of strength, not weakness

As someone who once worked in the world of politics, the upcoming presidential election and Iowa caucuses have prompted me to examine why etiquette - and civility - are more essential today than ever before. In our era of instant gratification via technology and never-ending to-do lists, the loss of human connections continues at a rapid pace, from the campaign trail to strangers on the street.

People always ask me why I'm passionate about etiquette. Simply stated, I believe in the power of treating others with civility, having a positive, respectful attitude and deliberate actions to make people feel significant. Whether it be a handwritten note, hostess gift or random act of kindness - our partners, friends, co-workers or our favorite barista - live better when we ourselves are living thoughtfully. There are deeper reasons at play than where to place your napkin or which fork to use.

With hectic schedules, always being plugged-in and ambitious pressures to always do more and be more - what if we took more opportunities to say thank you, hold open more doors, or sincerely inquire about someone's day? What if people with different political, religious or professional views chose to have informed and mindful conversations instead of attacking someone's character or slinging insulting social media posts? What if common courtesy was in fact, common?

To live deliberately is to practice a lifestyle of etiquette. To take the approach of being kinder to those who share the world with us. I think life's special events deserve extra attention and consideration. Meaningful moments are what make life significant, and cultivating our behavior and sense of awareness creates those exact moments. And when those less than spectacular times present themselves - because somewhere along the way they will - why make things worse by rubbing salt in a wound with an entitled attitude social media rants or bully-like behavior? Empathy and integrity should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses.

I am not perfect, but I am not striving for perfection. What I am striving for is a life that enables those around me to be happier, thoughtful and live the best life possible. If I can make that type of impact with my actions, words and relationships, then I am living graciously. I wish politicians to share the same sentiment when seeking office. That their intentions are bigger than themselves. At the end of the day and at the bottom of everything, all we have is our character and how we make others feel, and in return - how they make us feel.

Many centuries ago a man once said, 'Manners maketh man” - a statement that shouldn't be discarded in our modern times. Especially within the political landscape that grows more negative and divisive by the day. I still believe that kinder words and actions can truly change the world. That a smile and saying hello hold power. To the readers of this column and Iowans settling in for another political season, I hope we can aspire to have the ability to live thoughtfully and compassionately together as people of a community, state, country and world.