Expectations…

Who was I fooling?  I had set an expectation that this season of training, running and racing would go smooth.  Self-inflicted expectations can cause a great deal of anxiety…

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I thought that I had everything set and accounted for.  I had a support system to urge me on and keep me motivated.  I brought on a coach to guide me and keep me accountable.  I had access to great facilities.  I had a solid plan in place.  Oddly, even though I have a history of injuries, having to deal with any was furthest from my mind.

So, here I sit with a case of metatarsalgia in both feet.  Until now, the only problem that I had with my Morton's toes (the one next to the big) was that they are ugly.  They are still ugly, indeed, but have been quite sore for more than a month.  Tight indoor track curves and needing to get up on and push off of my toes have been somewhat like death, as I imagine it to be.

They are starting to show positive signs of healing but I know that I am not completely out-of-the-woods, yet.  My light over-distance runs are becoming near pain-free but my speedwork has been relegated to the pool, for now.

I have struggled with different things over the past month and the thought of expectations hit me fairly hard.  I feared that I may have instilled some expectations in some who have been supporting and following me.  The fear is that I won't be able to live up to them.  Who doesn't fear about being a disappointment?

I can only remain positive and keep moving forward, and that is what I am doing.  We all have to make the best out of what is handed to us, and in the big picture, this is certainly nothing to lose sleep over.

All of the cross-training that I have been doing has given me a chance to do a lot of thinking.  There's not much else to do while on a stationary bike.  All of that thinking has led me to a few decisions.  Some are big and life-changing…others are small and most likely not. 

One of the big is going back to school and attempt to become a screenwriter.  A good amount of time now and through the summer will be spent preparing for the application process, which I am anticipating to be stressful…but fun

Speaking of summer, I am ready for it to appear!  On top of my application preparation, my plans include working, running, going to as many outdoor concerts that I can, taking as many photos as I can, going on my 4th and last 2-week long road trip, and generally living life the best that I can…no complaints and no regrets…