Capitol nannies strike back

So the nannies are making a Statehouse comeback. You knew they would.

Back in February, I wrote how remarkable it was to see lawmakers pushing bills that were a little bit dangerous. A dash of hot sauce. A tablespoon or two of devil-may-care. They were considering an increase in the interstate speed limit, rolling back criminal penalties for marijuana offenses and even decriminalizing raw milk.

Talk about a walk on the wild side.

Alas, it was much talk and no action. The speed limit was stopped in its tracks. Reefer madness continues to grip the highest reaches of the General Assembly. It's pasteurized or nothing, milk drinkers of Iowa. It's even possible that lawmakers will make it a crime to talk on a hand-held cellphone while driving before the drive home for the year.

Sure, the governor signed a bill expanding the legal definition of beer. And we may be filing our convenience store pale ale 'growlers” soon. But let's face it, the nannies struck back. The rebel alliance is in retreat, probably on bikes with no rear safety light!

But one pivotal battle remains - fireworks.

Iowa has banned most kinds of fireworks since FDR was in the White House, and is one of only a handful of states with such a strict prohibition. Trouble is, it's about as effective as most prohibitions designed to save us from our dangerous impulses. Lots of people shrug at the law and fire a rocket.

It's illegal in Iowa to light a firework but legal to possess fireworks. State Sen. Jeff Danielson, D-Cedar Falls, compares this to the state allowing you to buy a grill while making it illegal to light it and cook a steak. You might get burned. Your eyebrows might get singed. You might char the meat and consume carcinogens.

Have a protein shake instead. Careful not to get brain freeze. You're welcome.

A bill pushed by Danielson that would allow the sale of some consumer-grade fireworks in Iowa, think bottle rockets and firecrackers, remains alive in the Senate. It cleared a Ways and Means subcommittee this week, although committee Chairman Joe Bolkcom, D-Iowa City, is not a fan.

Neither are numerous safety advocates, doctors, firefighters, the Iowa Hospital Association, Prevent Blindness Iowa, etc. On the other side, not surprisingly, are folks and firms that want to make money selling fireworks in Iowa.

Several of the state's newspaper editorial boards lean pro-rocket, if reluctantly so. That includes The Gazette, Quad-City Times, Mason City Globe-Gazette and Sioux City Journal. Most argue in favor of acknowledging the reality that plenty of fireworks get fired in Iowa, and we might as well keep consumer bucks on this side of the border.

The Des Moines Register is an exception, writing in late February that legal fireworks would 'pose a clear threat to the health and safety of Iowans.”

But lots of potentially dangerous stuff is perfectly legal, such as riding bicycles.

'Bicycles do not explode or emit a cascading shower of flaming chemicals when used as directed,” the Register noted.

But what if they did? Better ban exploding bikes, just in case.

l Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@thegazette.com