Bowl projections: Hawkeyes will play someone, somewhere

Wednesdays are garbage-pickup day in my neighborhood, and that's where I took all the bowl-projections I accumulated this week.

They're like snowmen. They're fun to make and fun to look at it, but they're useless and they don't have much staying power.

As someone who will probably cover Iowa in its bowl, I kind of wanted a head's up on the site and opponent so I can hit the ground running Sunday when it comes to offering you good people information about both. But what is a boy to believe?

I gathered eight sets of bowl projections from seven national websites, and got all sorts of different opinions. Here's the rub: No one knows if Ohio State is going to beat Wisconsin Saturday night in the Big Ten championship.

Thus, no one knows if the Buckeyes will barge into the College Football Playoff. And if Wisconsin wins, that could mean three Big Ten teams in 'access” bowls, whatever that means. The four 'access” bowls slotted by the playoff people will be the Cotton, Fiesta, Orange and Peach.

Since Saturday's game in Indianapolis will have so much influence on the rest of the Big Ten's bowl slots, all projections are thus worthless right now. But let's look at them anyway regarding Iowa. Here are the picks of the Hawkeyes' destination and opponent:

Stewart Mandel, FoxSports.com: Holiday vs. USC

Christopher Wilson, Yahoo Sports: Foster Farms vs. USC

Mark Schlabach, ESPN.com: Foster Farms vs. Stanford

Brett McMurphy, ESPN.com: Music City vs. Tennessee

Jerry Palm, CBSsports.com: Foster Farms vs. USC

PhilSteele.com: TaxSlayer vs. Ole Miss

Zac Ellis, Sports Illustrated: Foster Farms vs. UCLA

Erick Smith, USA TODAY: Quick Lane vs. Pittsburgh

Let's stop here and say there is no way Iowa goes to the Quick Lane Bowl in Detroit for a rematch with Pitt. I think the Quick Lane itself is about a 0.1 percent chance for the Hawkeyes, but an Iowa-Pitt return bout is 0.00001 percent.

If I'm wrong I'll be delighted, because one of my few remaining professional goals is to cover a bowl game in Detroit on the day after Christmas.

That said, of the seven other picks that are possible, we've got four for the Foster Farms Bowl (Santa Clara, Calif.), and one each for the Holiday (San Diego), TaxSlayer (Jacksonville, Fla.) and Music City (Tennessee). All are reasonable guesses. The operative word is 'guesses.”

If you're Iowa and want to go to the Holiday Bowl, you need Wisconsin to beat Ohio State Saturday to make three Big Ten teams in access bowls a possibility.

Should the Buckeyes win, you're not going to San Diego. That's the truth, Ruth.

I realize bowl talk isn't hot and heavy in Iowa given the disappointing finish to the season and the fact that no matter where the Hawkeye go, it won't have been where people had hoped earlier in the year. But you play the cards you're dealt, or have dealt yourself. That said, which would be your preference, San Diego, San Francisco, Jacksonville or Nashville?

Mine: 1. San Diego, 2. San Francisco, 3. Nashville, 4. Jacksonville.

As for opponents of non-Detroit bowls, the writers above have given you a cavalcade of possibilities. Three say USC, one each have Stanford, Tennessee, Mississippi and UCLA.

Do any of those grab you? And how do you think playing Iowa would grab them?

It's not like the projectors have any other Big Ten team's bowl figured out. Of the eight I've listed, here's the breakdown for the top three Big Ten clubs:

Ohio State:

Three say Peach, three say Cotton, one each for Sugar and Citrus. So you have the Buckeyes going from the playoff itself to a non-access bowl.

Wisconsin:

Three say Peach, one each for Cotton, Fiesta, Orange, Citrus and Outback.

Michigan State:

Five say Orange, two say Peach, one for Cotton.

Nobody knows. The bowl people don't know, the athletic directors and coaches don't know, the playoff committee doesn't know, and sports writers definitely don't know.

But it's fun to make snowmen.