Eastern Iowans carry on holiday meal traditions in memory of kitchen queens

Garrison Keillor speaks lovingly of 'queen mothers' who ruled their kitchens, taking great pride in preparing entire holiday meals by themselves, never eating a bite, as they fussed over their guests.

'There were women who grew to maturity without ever having made a turkey, because at the queen mother's, they were not allowed to touch food, because they were only daughters-in-law,' he said. 'They might be allowed to mash potatoes under close supervision, but they couldn't do anything else. ...

'But now these queen mothers, they are all gone. ...

Their children go to restaurants for Thanksgiving or they stay home and they have dinner in bed. They have Chinese barbecue and sushi rolls that have been delivered to them in little white cardboard boxes.'

I can relate.

Panic Attacks

Facing our first holiday season without Mom in the kitchen sent my siblings and me into a tailspin last year. We figured we could muddle our way through roasting a turkey and mashing potatoes, but who would make Mom's amazing dressing and pumpkin pies? And what about her turkey gravy, nectar of the kitchen gods?

And what about Christmas? Who would make the Swedish tea ring? Or the oyster stew that most of us don't even like? Or the red, white and green layered Christmas Jello salad that sounds awful but is divine? Speaking of divine, forget divinity. Not even going there.

We divvied up the chores and passed with flying colors. Thankfully, I found Mom's dressing recipe that she sent me on a Christmas card in 1991, when I made my first solo Thanksgiving meal. And Libby's prints a fail-safe recipe on its canned pumpkin label, so my younger brother made two great pies.

Not everything went swimmingly, however. My tea ring wasn't quite round, but tasted amazing — even with using frozen bread dough instead of homemade. I don't do yeast. And I sorely underestimated the volume of the white layer in Mom's Christmas salad recipe, so my fancy mold held the red and white layers and my Tupperware square held the rest of the white stuff, nestled atop the green layer. That made Mom smile. This year, the whole thing is going in a 9x13 pan.

Hopping back to Thanksgiving, I lost a game akin to 'not-it' and got stuck with gravy detail. Fortunately, Mom let me into the kitchen long enough to watch her make that over the years, so by guess and by golly, I whipped up an amazing pan of turkey gravy. My older brother said, 'Did you write it down?' 'Nope,' I replied. 'It's in my head.' Ah yes, I am becoming my mother.

She died in March, and it's comforting to know that several of her sweet and savory holiday traditions will live on. Oyster stew will not.

Family Recipe Books

Hy-Vee dietitian Judy Fitzgibbons once heard the home economist on a turkey hotline say the average age of their first-time callers was fifty-something, 'because Mom was the one who had done it, and now suddenly, the torch got passed.'

'The lesson is to get your family recipe book together,' Fitzgibbons said.

Martin Blind, 53, of Cedar Rapids, is doing just that via Facebook and his blog, Blindguycooks.theblindfamily.com

'My mother passed away seven years ago. I asked for only two things of hers when she died; her recipe box and her 40-year-old KitchenAid stand mixer,' he said.

That simple wooden recipe box holds a treasure trove of history, written in his mother's hand or typed in italics on the family's vintage typewriter.

'She is the reason that I cook,' he said, 'and I've been cooking since I was a little, little kid.

'But pulling out some of those recipes, I just have to shake my head. She was a very wonderful woman, but she wrote the directions in her recipes for her, not for anybody else, so some of them are just absolutely hilarious. You have to fill in the gaps.'

Some just contain ingredients, with no measurements, because she thought 'you should know that,' he said with a laugh.

'Christmas was my Mom's holiday,' he added, and one of his family's favorite recipes is for German Springerle. These rectangular cookies are tricky, however, calling for pricey, special-order anise oil and Baker's ammonia, which his mom ordered from their West Point (Iowa) pharmacy — and a stamped rolling pin that creates the cookies' distinctive picture designs.

Her instructions? 'Mix all ingredients, except flour, together and beat one-half hour at number 5. Add flour, roll thin and cut, let stand overnight in a cool room and bake next morning at 325 in greased pan.'

Another spiced cookie recipe has two sets of measurements on the card, in case she wanted to double it. Others were even more cryptic, with just ingredients and very few measurements or instructions.

'After a while, and through experimentations, you'll look at these, and it kind of follows with what my mom always said: Recipes are just a guide, they're just the starting point,' he said. 'And that's how I approach my cooking.'

Family members started taking over Christmas Eve dinner duties before Blind's mother died, discovering that some things, like oyster stew, were easy.

'Every year, I seem to make a few more of her Christmas traditional things,' he said, noting, however, that he won't attempt her cinnamon rolls or pecan rolls. 'I don't think there's any way anyone could ever re-create them.'

In another nod to his mom, the Monday after Thanksgiving, a delicious aroma wafted through his home as he simmered a pot of broth using the turkey carcass, veggies and herbs. 'I try to use everything,' he said, citing his mom's adage that you don't let anything go to waste. She typically turned leftover turkey meat into a delicious salad — a tradition that lives on.

In his youth, Blind hovered around the kitchen, watching his mom cook, and like her, he prefers to do the cooking when hosting family meals. She sparked his fascination by telling him about the chemistry of cooking and the way ingredients interact, which she learned from the nun who taught both home ec and chemistry in her high school.

The family fascination with cooking is coursing through the next generation, too, as Blind's daughter is a baker and his son is a chef in local establishments.

Tips

'Food is really a piece of our heritage,' dietitian Fitzgibbons said. But if you don't have Mom or Grandma's recipes — or even if you do — the Internet is a valuable go-to guide for finding recipes to replicate family favorites. YouTube videos also can guide novices through making gravy or other tasks that are harder than they seem.

She also recommends scouring used-book sales for community cookbooks that may be chock-full of old-fashioned recipes.

Trial runs can help you avoid mistakes on the big cooking day. 'It depends on how forgiving your family is,' she said, recalling a failed lemon meringue pie that kept shrinking en route to the family dinner.

Making items ahead of time and reheating or cooking them on the big day can take some of the chaos out of trying to get everything to come out at the right time, she added.

Today's cooks who are concerned about cutting fat or calories can try substituting lower-fat milk or sour cream in recipes. Lots of packaged products also offer shortcuts for busy or inexperienced cooks, via boxed stuffing mixes, frozen doughs, canned gravy or packaged broths that can be easier to use than pan drippings when making gravy. Instead of calorie-laden side dishes, Fitzgibbons suggests using whole grains, rice or quinoa to create healthier options.

For the vegetarian in his family, Blind branched out and added Vegducken to this year's Thanksgiving menu: scallions stuffed inside a zucchini stuffed inside an eggplant stuffed inside a butternut squash, and topped with an herbed pecan butter sauce.

'It was pretty good,' he said. 'I don't know if I'll ever make it again, though.'

RECIPES

Swedish tea ring

(shortcut)

From Diana Nollen: I do not have the courage to make the dough from scratch, so I cheat and use a loaf of frozen bread dough. I also add raisins to the filling.

1 loaf frozen bread dough, thawed   Filling

3 apples, peeled and cubed

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons butter, melted

1/2 cup nuts, chopped (I used pecans)

1/2 to 1 cup raisins

2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

Glaze

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon milk

1 teaspoon vanilla or 1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Decoration

Green and red maraschino cherry halves

pecan halves   Thaw and roll out dough into an 8x15-inch rectangle.   Heat filling ingredients in a saucepan until the apples soften. Let cool, then spread onto the dough.

Starting with the long edge, carefully roll the dough into a log and seal the seam. Even more carefully, shape it into a circle on a cookie sheet or pizza pan. Using scissors, cut two-thirds of the way through the roll every 3 inches; turn each section almost on its side.   Cover with a cloth and let rise in a warm area until doubled (about an hour or so). Then bake at 375 for 30 minutes.   Blend glaze ingredients and drizzle or spread over warm tea ring. Decorate by alternating cherry halves and pecan halves.  

Mom's turkey dressing

From Diana Nollen of Cedar Rapids: My mom made the best dressing, and shared her recipe when I was fretting over making my first Thanksgiving meal in 1991. It's written on a Christmas card, along with instructions for preparing the turkey, gravy, pumpkin pies and relish tray — signed with this sentiment: 'Good luck. Don't worry, everything will be fine.' It was.   1 loaf bread

4 to 5 cups broth from boiling turkey giblets

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 teaspoon ground sage

Salt and pepper to taste (I used a scant 1/2 teaspoon salt and heaping 1/4 teaspoon pepper)

2 eggs   Place one loaf bread slices on cookie sheets in oven to dry (I used wheat bread, and this process took two days). Cube dried bread. Add chopped celery, chopped onion and spices.   Boil giblets to make 5 cups broth; add 4 cups to dressing mixture, stir, and add up to 1 cup more to soften cubes to desired consistency. Beat in 2 eggs before pouring into greased 9 by 13-inch pan.   Bake 1 hour at 350 degrees.  

Loretta's chicken salad

From Martin Blind of Cedar Rapids: Sometimes the simplest meals are some of the best. Case in point, the chicken salad made following my mother Loretta's recipe. She typically made this with leftover turkey from Thanksgiving, serving along with a cranberry relish and rolls on the side. Here's to you Mom — the inspiration for my cooking.   4 cups cooked chicken

1 cup celery, minced

1 cups seedless grapes, halved (red)

1 cup chopped English walnuts

1/4 cup finely minced red onion

1 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped   Combine first five ingredients. Fold whipped cream into mayonnaise and add to salad ingredients. Place in salad bowl lined with lettuce or other greens. Serve with chilled cranberry relish and warm rolls.  

Can conversions Dashes and pinches we can figure out, but what do you do if your heirloom recipe calls for a Number 3 can of something? Judy Fitzgibbons, dietitian at the Johnson Avenue Hy-Vee in Cedar Rapids, offers up these conversion guidelines:   American sizes

No. 1 = 10 to 12 ounces

No. 300 = 14 to 16 ounces

No. 1 1/2 = 1 pound plus 17 ounces

No. 303 = 1 pound plus 17 ounces

No. 2 = 1 pound plus 4 ounces or 1 pint plus 2 fluid ounces

No. 2 1/2 = 1 pound plus 12 ounces to 1 pound plus 14 ounces

No. 3 = 3 pounds plus 3 ounces or 1 quart plus 14 ounces

No. 10 = 6 pounds plus 2 ounces or 7 pounds plus 5 ounces  

Preserving family traditions FROM SOCIAL MEDIA   Several others area residents weighed in on preserving family traditions:  

Kathleen Bednar of Hiawatha, Martin Blind's mother-in-law: Like many people, I make certain recipes during the holidays of our loved ones now gone. I am lucky to have the recipe collection of one of my grandmothers and handwritten recipes of my other grandmother and treasured aunts. I think anything written in someone's hand paints such a vivid picture of them and you feel like they are right there with you.

A friend passed on to me a lovely idea. She puts a card or special letter she's received into the book she's reading (or maybe a daily devotional) and then that person is brought to mind each time she opens the pages.  

Mina Arbore of Cedar Rapids: As an only child, I now own both of my mother's recipe boxes, and treasure them, although I don't use many of them. Years ago, I had to smile when reading the 3x5 card with her pumpkin pie recipe, written in her own hand. When I saw that something was glued to the back of the card, I discovered the label from a can of Libby's pumpkin, with their pie recipe. It and mom's were exactly the same! So, did Mom steal Libby's recipe, or did they steal hers?!? In any case, I've made pumpkin pies for years now using the mom/Libby's recipe!  

R'becca Groff of Cedar Rapids: I assumed the role of head 'sugar cookie dough roller-outer-and baker and decorator' after our mother died. She ALWAYS took care of that task, as I always came close to losing my religion when I had to roll out the dough, but — I conquered it!   P.S. I now have the recipe she used — still off the back of the package of butter from the Estherville, Iowa, Creamery. Precious to the max.