Hlastradamus goes to dogs this week, not Hawkeyes

Hlastradamus is going for clickbait this week.

He knows he is giving these cherished pieces of prognostication to an audience that is largely of a state-of-Iowa bent. When he picks the Iowa Hawkeyes to cover the spread, he looks like he's pandering. But he predicts what he sees in the distance, and makes no apologies to those who haven't been around for hundreds of years to gain his kind of wisdom and powers.

However, he doesn't pretend he has a clue if Iowa will or won't cover the seven points against Indiana Saturday. His crystal ball contains all sorts of conflicting information. When that happens, it's usually the future telling the prophet to stay away from that game. Or to stay away from that that Oakland Raiderette he met a couple centuries ago.

However, clickbait would be picking against the Hawkeyes and riling up those who are easily riled. And so Hlastradamus will do just that. But it's also part of a theme, as he picks nothing but underdogs to cover this week.

Indiana +7 vs. Iowa

It's seven points for a team that lost by seven at home to Ohio State. And it's ... wait for it ... clickbait.

Straight up, the prophet says Iowa wins. But seven points? Most of his instincts say throw the 7, but not the one that goes to the betting window at the Bellagio.

Iowa State +25 at Oklahoma

Did the Cyclones spend all their emotional and physical capital against Texas last week? (The prophet told you ISU would gore the Horns.) Perhaps.

Oklahoma certainly seems to have relocated the eye of the tiger after strangely getting taken down by Texas a few weeks ago.

But 25 points ... think about this, Hlastradamus, think about this ... too late. It is written. The Cyclones cover.

Rutgers +23.5 at Michigan

It's a lot of points. Must the seer have elaborate explanations for everything? You don't insist on them from Donald Trump, do you?

Penn State +2.5 at Northwestern

The Nittany Lions have found a bit of a happy place in Happy Valley lately. Hlastradamus likes Penn State junior quarterback Christian Hackenberg more at this point in history than Northwestern freshman QB Clayton Thorson.

But they both have great names, don't they?

Purdue +2.5 vs. Illinois

Purdue is on a bit of a high after beating Nebraska. Illinois is on a considerable low after getting clubbed at Penn State last week.

More importantly, nothing would make the prophet watch this game. Not even the most persuasive Oakland Raiderette.