Cedar Rapids Family Caregivers Center adds support group for teens

It was a school language-arts project that gave Brandi Meyer the idea to start a support group for teenagers helping care for terminally ill parents.

The 19-year-old Kennedy High School graduate had to give a TED-Talk-style presentation, and she decided to talk about what it's like to be a teenage caregiver herself.

Meyer's dad has been sick since she was in middle school. He has heart problems and kidney issues as well as Parkinson's and early onset dementia.

'I remember doing homework on hospital floors,” she said.

The youngest of six, Brandi helps her mother, Christy, with housework, feeds and bathes her dad, administers medications and will care for her nieces and nephews.

It can be a hard and isolating job, she said. Often her friends don't understand why she can't go out on a Friday night or needs to stay with her dad while her mother is at work or running errands. He falls easily, and it's important for someone to be nearby to catch him, she explained.

So she reached out to Kathy Good, executive director of the Family Caregiver's Center of Mercy, to see what support services were available for teenagers. The problem was, there weren't any.

The Family Caregivers Center offers free, comprehensive resources and help to those caring for loved ones. It's open to the entire community, not only for those who receive medical care at Mercy Medical Center in Cedar Rapids.

There are more than 44,500 family caregivers in Eastern Iowa who are looking after aging parents, spouses with chronic conditions or children with disabilities. These caregivers perform medical tasks, provide transportation to medical appointments, cook meals and manage finances, among many other duties.

'I'm always looking for gaps in the system or unmet needs,” Good said.

So Good reached out to Anne Busha, a Cedar Rapids-based marriage and family therapist and friend, about possibly leading the teen support group. Busha did some initial research and found there are an estimated 1.4 million teenagers in Meyer's position around the country. The three women met to talk details, and on July 21 they will hold their first meeting - which is open and free to any teenager in a situation similar to Meyer's.

Some teenagers may not recognize that they are caregivers - in their minds they're only helping out their parents, Good said. But there is a lot of stress that comes with that role - peers and friends can't always relate to you; family members have to adjust to new roles; financial challenges that come when one parent is no longer working; and taking on a huge number of responsibilities.

'I want to learn how to relieve stress better,” Meyer said. 'And how not to get angry at my dad - he doesn't always like to listen. It gets frustrating keeping those things to myself. ”

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