The tree of anonymity, watered with the cash of 'patriots'

Meanwhile, inside the Continental Congress.

“Gentlemen, now that the Congress has approved a Declaration of Independence, we must turn to the gravely serious issue of clearly, boldly affixing our true Christian names to the document.

“This is a task that shall not be taken lightly. Signing our names may lead to our arrest and execution. Our families will be put in danger. Our property may be seized or set ablaze. The risks are very, very great. But I believe that we must have the courage to take those risks in the name of our convictions and principles. Mr. Franklin, your thoughts?

“We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”

“Well said. So it's agreed ...”

“Uh, not so fast. Salutations, all. I'm Ichabod Sneak, local solicitor and consultant. I may have found a nice little loophole in His Majesty's tax code that would allow you to push this whole independence thing without disclosing your names.”

“What treachery is this, Sneak? You would have us scatter and hide like rats?”

“Oh, no. Hear me out. All you have to do is form a social welfare organization under section 501(c)(4) of the royal code, Founding Fathers for Freedom, maybe, but keep all the members secret. So you can still advocate for a break from the crown without drawing so much attention to yourselves. It's a pretty sweet setup, huh?

“Look, I know you all like making big speeches and grand gestures and bold declarations. But I also know many of you have got some serious coin, land holdings, etc. And frankly, that money is way more important and powerful than all those speeches. You can use it to drive your agenda without leaving the comfort of your estates. And, legally, nobody needs to know.”

“But what of posterity, Sneak? This moment of courage will be a historic beacon, an example of fortitude that will be an inspiration for future generations. We cannot cower from this moment of truth.”

“Sure, sure. But I have a feeling that some day, maybe 236 years or so down the road, the nation's wealthy elite will come to understand that courage and conviction are just bad for business. It's not worth the criticism, boycotts and bad press. It's best to just bundle big checks together and hang back in the shadows, separately.”

“But what of our founding principles?”

“Oh, they'll keep on espousing them, like crazy. Heck, some may even dress up like you. But unlike you, they'll know it's best to keep their names out of it. There's really no liberty quite like anonymity.”