Iowa Football

What if Bran from "Game of Thrones" coached Iowa football?

It's a question that has to be asked

Bran. An odd bird, this one.
Bran. An odd bird, this one.

Look, the answer to the question in the headline is probably a no.

For one thing, the University of Iowa has a head football coach under contract through 2026. For another, Bran Stark is a fictional character. From a fictional television program. You seldom see fictional characters coaching actual teams, which is too bad, because that guy who coached the Dillon Panthers high school football team in “Friday Night Lights” would have done well at any level.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. Now go knock their heads off.

Anyway, Bran is a character on “Game of Thrones,” and it seems to be popular. I have HBO, and it makes other good programs. I enjoy “Veep.” A significant part of this, its final season, has been set in Iowa. As an Iowan, I somehow didn’t even wince when Richard, who enters the next show as Iowa’s new governor, said coming into town to buy Sudafed was the state’s No. 1 source of tourism.

Anyway, Bran turned himself into a black bird or a flock of black birds last week (They call it “warging.” Apparently all the cool kids are doing it.) before he had a face-to-face with the Night King, who then got stabbed in the gut by a girl and shattered into pieces.

At least it wasn’t bloody. The show has been known to be bloody.

I don’t know if the birds were ravens or crows. The birds and humans, alive and dead, all looked pretty similar in the darkness of that particular episode. Things were even murkier to me, since I only started watching at the beginning of this season.

On the other hand, I’ve watched “60 Minutes” since Benjamin Franklin was its lead reporter.

Correction, Bran “warged” into a bird (or birds). Nick Saban can’t even do that.

OK, so there’s your late-afternoon blog post. It’s clearly just a pathetic ploy to get cheap page views by getting “Game of Thrones” and “Iowa football” in the same headline. This is, in case you forgot, the Internet.

But seriously, folks ... what if Bran coached the Hawkeyes?

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