Hlastradamus, who knows all and sees all, was blissfully unaware.
The seer headed to his mountaintop recruit immediately after the last college football season for eight months of meditation and binge-watching of “Below Deck Mediterranean.” He returned this week to begin another season of college football predictions, was immediately told to put on a mask, and was advised the NBA playoffs had almost reached the conference finals.
Then he was informed the Miami Marlins and Baltimore Orioles were playoff contenders.
Then he was informed the Big Ten wasn’t playing football this September.
Then he was informed there was a global pandemic that had yet to be tamed, and he remembered that he predicted all of these things … in 1555.
You make enough predictions and sooner or later some will be right.
The prophet has seen his share of plagues, but none have deprived him of picking Big Ten football games. Feeling a bit lost in this world without pity, he seeks to find normalcy by picking five games in a college football week. Then he’ll decide whether to go back up the mountain or stick around and enjoy the chaos when Ohio State secedes from the Big Ten later this month.
(Oops, the seer should have had insisted on a spoiler alert there.)
The point spreads used here are the ones at Elite Sportsbook. Shop locally.
Louisiana +11.5 at Iowa State
Yeah, a good Big 12 team should whomp a good Sun Belt team. But Louisiana is a real good Sun Belt team, an 11-game winner last year with a balanced and explosive offense, a dangerous veteran quarterback in Levi Lewis, and one of the best names in college sports in the Ragin’ Cajuns.
Iowa State, for reasons even the seer can’t see, scheduled itself danger right off the bat. Hlastradamus says the Cyclones win this but don’t cover, and the fans who would have attended will bite their nails before it’s over.
Notre Dame -20 vs. Duke
It’s Notre Dame and Duke, and it’s at South Bend.
Hlastradamus says those are the two facts you need to make this pick.
Wake Forest +32 vs. Clemson
Last year, Clemson beat Wake 52-3. Clemson beat a lot of teams 52-3.
However, the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest still won eight games. They played five ACC games at home and won four, with the only loss by the score of 62-59 against Louisville. That game did not go to overtime.
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Hlastradamus has been around for centuries, but has never seen a Wake Forest football game. Thus, his crystal ball isn’t smudged by prejudice. Nor should yours.
Clemson is probably pretty good, but the prophet will always take 32 points with a home team coming off an 8-5 season.
Kansas State -10.5 vs. Arkansas State
Kansas and Kansas State: Both playing football.
Arkansas and Arkansas State: Both playing football.
Iowa and Iowa State: Oh no, Hlastradamus went there.
Kansas -7 vs. Coastal Carolina
Last year, Coastal Carolina won at Kansas, 13-7.
“The Coastal Carolina game from a year ago is old news,” Kansas Coach Les Miles said this week. But not old enough for Hlastradamus to forget.
“This group of Jayhawks have fought social justice, fatigue, the calendar — just the changes in the calendar,” Miles said. “And the protocols. We’ve been jabbed up our noses. We put saliva in a dish. We have endured and we have enjoyed and now we’re going to get to play, so can’t wait. It’s going to be fun.”
The prophet is picking Kansas just because its football coach used that word in a year that hasn’t been fun.