Win bar bets, amaze your friends, be the life of the party.
But before you figure out how to do all that, waste three minutes taking this NCAA tournament quiz:
1. Who won the 2013 NCAA tournament?
a) The 1963 Loyola Ramblers
b) The 1973 UCLA Bruins
c) The 2013 Louisville Cardinals
d) Vacated, which has a good chance of eventually winning again this year
2. Which of these is not a team in this year’s tourney?
a) Long Island-Brooklyn Blackbirds
b) North Carolina Central Eagles
c) Creighton Bluejays
d) Popeye’s Chicken
3. Joe Lunardi:
a) Is ESPN’s bracketologist
b) Had Baylor, Louisville and St. Mary’s in his brackets last Thursday
c) Had Oklahoma as a No. 3 seed on Feb. 1
d) Is back to working his regular shift at 7-Eleven
4. Texas has seven teams in the tourney because:
a) Texas is a large state
b) Texas is more of a basketball state than people realize
c) Texas schools have hired great coaches
5. If you want to make money in your NCAA pool:
a) Take Villanova
b) Take Virginia
c) Take Big Ten teams
d) Sell 850 percent of your pool sheet in 50 percent shares to people who don’t know each other and make sure you don’t win
6. Which of these states is the one with a team in the tournament?
7. Who has made the biggest headlines in college basketball this season?
a) The AAC
b) The ACC
c) The SEC
d) The FBI
8. How could Nebraska go 13-5 in the Big Ten and be denied an NCAA berth?
a) It had few wins over top teams
b) It lost badly to Michigan at the Big Ten tournament
c) The Big Ten wasn’t at its usual overall strength
d) Never mind that, when is the Huskers’ spring football game?
9. Which tournament team is most-concerned with the seeds?
a) New Mexico State
b) South Dakota State
c) San Diego State
d) Legal Medical Marijuana State
10. Which of the following thoughts will never enter your mind while watching this year’s tournament?
a) As a college basketball studio analyst, Charles Barkley makes a great NBA studio analyst.
b) This truTV … this isn’t an actual network, right?
c) The Davidson Wildcats-Kentucky Wildcats first-round game is a real catfight.
d) There just aren’t enough play-stoppages in the final minute of these games. Come on, foul some more and use all your timeouts!
11. Which of these conferences won’t be represented in the tournament?
a) Big East
b) Big South
c) Big West
d) Big Bang Theory
12. What’s the key to winning this tournament?
a) Defense and rebounding
b) Great guard play
c) Poise under pressure
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d) Having a couple of freakishly talented freshmen who will be done with college the moment the nets are snipped after the championship game
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