I hope my Republican legislators and governor will consider offering litmus tests to other groups, not just college students, to assure fair elections for all:
1. “You look like you’re in high school/ middle school/ grade school. Do you have any plans to become one of those ne’er-do-well college student voters who might someday exercise their right to live where they wish? If yes, we’ll block your voter registration permanently.”
2. “You look rather elderly. Can you assure the Secretary of State you won’t die in the next 36 months? If you can’t, we’ll void your registration immediately.”
3. “What documentation can you provide Secretary Paul Pate, notarized and in triplicate, to prove you won’t be convicted of a felony before the next general election? If none available, check here and we’ll get your voter annulment out of the way now.”
4. “Have you spent more than six hours at any one time in California, Florida, Chicago, Kansas City, or Minneapolis or ever casually searched online for real estate, job opportunities, or retirement villages there? If so, mark here and we’ll revoke your franchise PDQ.”
5. “Have you ever voted or do you ever intend to vote while African American, Latino/a, gay, young, immigrant, female, or low-income? If so, please check appropriate box and we’ll put your ballots in the ‘special pile.’”
I also beg my Republican lawmakers to consider poll taxes and literacy tests as further ways of overcoming decades-old pesky constitutional protections.