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Out with 2021: The things we can leave behind
Niceness is right even when it’s not expressly required. It certainly doesn’t make a bad situation worse.

Dec. 30, 2021 9:38 am
(File/The Gazette)
I tend to take a positive approach to many things, opting to focus on what to do.
However, these extraordinary times have taught us that certain behaviors, activities and tendencies should end when we close the books of 2021.
Let’s nix poorly channeled impatience. The COVID-19 pandemic is marked by waiting, even as we wait for a discernible conclusion. Some impatience is perhaps justifiable. For example, priorities in “emergency” medical care changed, resulting in delays in much-needed health services.
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It’s unfair, and it’s not easily fixed. We can lay blame in hindsight, which won’t change current circumstances.
Personally, I yelled at the unfortunate person who told me my urgent surgery was canceled — again.
My behavior came from fear and helplessness. I was profoundly wrong, because yelling didn’t alter reality. I knew no person was to blame, but that didn’t stave off my tantrum.
I unfairly spread the weight of the situation to her, without removing any from myself. I apologized, and she graciously forgave me. I still should have handled it better and minimized the external impact of my anger.
This relates to another behavior we can leave in 2021: treating others badly simply because it’s expected, accepted or ignored.
You might say the receiver should push back. Or maybe you believe a server, delivery driver, clergyperson, teacher or emergency responder should have chosen a different profession. There is a bit of logic in that argument, if not decency.
Niceness is right even when it’s not expressly required. It certainly doesn’t make a bad situation worse.
In the same vein, employers should bid adieu to the idea of paying as little as possible, because loyalty is built on investment.
This one may sort itself out. Nationwide, businesses and industries grapple with worker shortages. The reasons vary. However, it does provide an opportunity to treat employees well.
Let’s also cancel rumor-based “research.”
It seems we all bemoan gossip, even as we fail to acknowledge anyone can be at fault.
According to Psychology Today, successful rumors feed on anxieties, emotions and repetition. Once a rumor captures the communal fancy, people are more likely to believe the churn over solid experts.
In fact, several studies show that even thorough debunking can reinforce belief in bogus information.
Consider the introduction of Bubble Yum gum by Life Savers Company in the 1970s — a schoolyard miracle. Predecessor products had to be chewed for ages before becoming soft enough for bubble-blowing.
Bubble Yum came pre-softened, a revelation that elicited suspicion. A particularly creative child hypothesized the softness was achieved through the use of spider eggs.
Silly, right? Not for Life Savers. The idea became a fact among youthful gum-chewers, spreading faster than The Theory of Gum Digestion.
Sales of Bubble Yum flatlined. Life Savers surveyed New York City children shortly after the rumor’s birth; in less than two weeks, more than half had heard the spider eggs hokum.
It’s mere distraction to invent, spread, chase and disprove rumors. Facts come from credible sources that impartially evaluate information. Look at it another way: If rumors spread so easily, could the mysterious “they” perpetrate a successful conspiracy to hide the actual truth?
At the close of my “out with 2021” wish list is the practice of intimidating, blaming and silencing so-called victims. By truly listening to others, we foster justice and equality.
So when someone speaks up about their awful experience, let’s assume it’s true until reasonably proved otherwise. Let’s acknowledge the world extends beyond our individual experiences and biases.
Karris Golden is a Gazette editorial fellow. Comments: karris.golden@thegazette.com