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Get your culture war koozies
Bigotry is a drink best served ice cold. So you’re gonna need a koozie.
And you’re in luck. Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders has released a set of koozies featuring “The Real Women of Politics.” For $30, you can collect all four.
One features Sanders, who became famous working as Donald Trump’s press secretary, delivering the administration’s “alternative facts” to the American people.
There’s South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, who recently told a NRA gathering that her two-year-old granddaughter already has a shotgun and a rifle, as well as a pony named “Sparkles.” Awww.
There’s Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey, who recently fired her state’s director of early childhood education because a training manual for pre-kindergarten teachers contained “woke concepts,” such as inclusion and structural racism.
And, of course, our own Gov. Kim Reynolds is featured, likely in honor of her crusade against “woke” public schools and transgender students.
“Real women don’t have to fake it,” says the soundtrack in an online ad for the koozies. Because, you know, transgender girls and women are fake, therefore it’s perfectly OK to yank away their rights, deny their existence and leave them vulnerable to violence. Then celebrate with a cold one.
The koozies are targeting Bud Light, the brand that hired a transgender influencer, Dylan Mulvaney, to promote its barely beer. Outraged conservatives now are boycotting Bud Light. They’re also smashing, trashing and shooting cans of the stuff.
So the “Real Women of Politics” are jumping on the hate Bud Light bandwagon. It fits in nicely with the agendas they’ve been promoting in their respective states.
“Woke corporations are trying to change who WE are!” Reynolds tweeted Monday with a link to a site where her followers can buy the koozies. The money raised goes to Sanders.
Reynolds has been very busy changing what Iowa is. Our state, once proud of its public schools, is now punishing them for imagined threats stoked by fake fears peddled by Reynolds and Republicans. Some Iowans are now preparing to leave, which is all part of the plan. Hogs, hate and cultural homogeneity is fast becoming the new state slogan.
Our real woman of politics fakes it plenty when it comes to scaring voters and drumming up outrage targeting marginalized kids. I guess her heart no longer goes out to them and their families.
And why stop at koozies? This political atmosphere begs for other red state marketing opportunities.
“The Real Cronies of Carbon” collector cups, featuring all the politically connected powerbrokers pushing for carbon pipelines in Iowa.
“The Real Children of Labor” child-size hard-hat. Your little worker will look sharp and safe on the plant floor or the commercial freezer.
“The Real Moms for Liberty” book lighter. Take care of those offensive books in a flash.
“The Real Students of Iowa” Kevlar vest. You never know when someone might head to the school parking lot and return to exercise their Second Amendment rights.
“The Real Attorney General of Iowa” bobblehead. This fun figurine shakes her head and gives the bird to sexual assault victims who need emergency contraception.
Collect all five! (Warning, they’re fake.)
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