Beer drinkers, leave those trees alone

And now for something completely different. If you’re sick of my takes on politics, you’re in luck.

An email arrived in my inbox this week with the subject line “Busch Light Wants You to Pee in a Busch.” In the endless flow of often tedious email I receive, this was unusual. It’s no late April Fool’s Day joke

“Every Busch Light drinker knows that their favorite beer is best enjoyed in the great outdoors,” the message said. “But when sipping on a Busch Light outside, nature usually needs to take its course — and trees often become a makeshift restroom. While it may seem harmless, most people don’t realize that peeing on trees can leave them more susceptible to disease, pests and nutrient loss.”

The graphic shows a rugged man, in a flannel shirt, enjoying a Busch Light in the woods. Notably, he’s not hiding behind a tree.

Apparently, I am most people. This is not an environmental issue I was aware of. So it’s OK to hug a tree, but just don’t water it with recycled Busch Light.

As part of the “Save a tree Pee in a Busch” campaign, Busch Light is selling a funnel kit. One end fits in a beer can. The other end, well, you know. The kits are on sale through the end of April. And 100 percent of the profits go to the group One Tree Planted, which will plant a tree for each dollar raised.

Hopefully they can send some of those trees to derecho damaged Eastern Iowa.

We’ve seen many marketing efforts to promote light American lagers in an attempt to make them more interesting than the contents of the can. We’ve seen mountains turn blue, trains bring a midsummer snowstorm to thirsty urbanites, Spuds MacKenzie and the epic battle of corn syrup vs. no corn syrup.

But a campaign focused not on the drinking but on the inevitable end result is new. This could be the biggest campaign since “If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.”

But there are questions. “Is peeing into a Busch Light can redundant?”

And also “Why are you writing about this?”

Well, our Busch Light editor, Adam Sullivan, left for greener pastures. So I feel an obligation to keep up our award winning coverage. Busch Light is very, very popular in Iowa, and the outdoor peeing season is just around the corner. Also, having grown up on the edge of a large wooded area, along with drinking quite a bit of beer outdoors, I’ve been part of the problem for decades. Oh, the guilt. Sorry, trees.

As for other questions, I emailed Alana Elliott, account coordinator for M & Saatchi Sport & Entertainment in New York.

I’ve seen Iowans drink Busch Light, and the cans can pile up. So what do we do with the, um, refilled cans?

Also, we take our cans back to the store or redemption center for deposits. This may cause some problems. Any ideas?

“You’re meant to rinse out the cans after use so they can be recycled!” Elliott replied.

Makes perfect sense. Hopefully Iowans will remember to do that after several Busch Lights.

There’s no word yet on how this effort might affect the current Statehouse debate over the bottle bill. Grocers and other retailers have complained for years about accepting dirty cans for redemption. Maybe they’ll start a counter campaign, “Save a Tree, Pee in a Non-Carbonated Beverage Container. We don’t have to take those!”

Nothing beats a cold beer as the world burns. Now, back to the fire, already in progress.

(319) 398-8262; todd.dorman@thegazette.com

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