Cranky Hank’s reopens in Shellsburg bank

SHELLSBURG — A new restaurant making a lot of dough has reopened in a former Shellsburg bank after a seven-year hiatus.

Cranky Hank’s Pizza Bank, formerly known as Cranky Hank’s, with locations at Lindale Mall and what used to be Donutland at 2606 Williams Blvd. SW in Cedar Rapids, opened Jan. 7 for weekend dinner service.

The new location happens to be a fitting revamp for the restaurant that also started with a figurative pile of dough — cash dumped from a pillow case.

Owner Keith Hazen of rural Shellsburg started distributing frozen Mama Bosso pizzas from Rock Island, Ill., throughout Cedar Rapids with a tow-behind generator and trailer in 2003, eventually growing his business to a 29-foot frozen Mack truck. Every night after work, he was moonlighting as a Quad Cities-style pizza salesperson, until he had a new idea.

“Gosh, if they love this stuff frozen, wouldn’t they love it fresh,” he asked his wife.

Hazen made an offer to Mama Bosso for the pizza recipe, but the restaurant wanted twice as much as he wanted to pay. After some negotiation, the recipe owners still wouldn’t budge.

So Hazen got a loan at the bank for the amount he wanted to pay for the recipe, filled a pillow case with cash, walked into their office and poured it onto the desk. At first, the sight still wasn’t enough to persuade them to sell the recipe. But after Hazen started to put the cash in the pillow case to walk out the door, the offer reluctantly was accepted.

That moment birthed the first Cranky Hank’s location on Cedar Rapids’ Williams Boulevard SW in 2005, a second location in the basement of Lindale Mall, and a third location in the food court of the mall that sold slices. By December 2014, the restaurants had taken their toll and Hazen decided to close all of them to take a break.

But at 62, as most folks think about their retirement plans, Hazen’s passion for the pizza is heating up again.

“My wife would tell you I’m crazy,” Hazen said. “I’m really happy that I’ve done it. I’m glad to be back.”

This time around, Cranky Hank’s menu is a bit more concise, specializing in all the Italian classics it did best before closing: pizza, calzones, Italian sandwiches, pasta and salads. With the Quad Cities style that is cut into 1.5-inch strips perfect for eating with a fork or inhaling with one hand, Hank’s pizza with dough made from scratch has a slightly different flair: the crust is sweeter and the sausage is spicier.

Get your fix with a large variety of specialty options including taco pizza, Hawaiian, Reuben, fajita chicken, Tater Pie, cheeseburger, stromboli, and Kitchen Sink. Kitchen Sink, true to its name, has 13 toppings thrown in.

Beverage options include Hank Juice, described as “margaritas with a serious kick,” as well as seven types of craft beers, including flight options.

Located inside a former bank building that has long been vacant, Hazen renovated the building at the suggestion of Shellsburg Mayor Lonnie Speckner a couple of years ago. Retaining the bank’s features, Cranky Hank’s continues to process a lot of dough near the old bank vault, which was converted into a walk-in cooler.

Having to shut down the restaurant at 5:30 p.m. — due not to a supply chain disruption but intense customer demand — has been a nice problem to have, he said. He thinks sentimental memories of the pizza and its comfort is partly to thank for the resurgence.

Off-site pop-up offerings in recent years after his old locations closed also helped keep demand fresh. Each pop-up, capped at 120 pizza reservations, would sell out in 15 minutes.

“The response has been overwhelming,” Hazen said.

Eventually, the owner aims to expand from weekend dinner service to full weekly hours and other locations.

Correction (Feb. 3, 2022 at 10:15 a.m.): A previous version of this story misidentified the address of the former Donutland that Cranky Hank’s opened at in 2005. Cranky Hank’s initially opened at 2606 Williams Blvd. SW, not on Center Point Road NE.

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