Cedar Rapids, IA, USA  
Digital Edition Digital Edition
Log in Log In My Account My Account
Subscribe Today
The Gazette The Gazette
The Gazette The Gazette
  • COVID-19
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
  • Food & Drink
  • Business
Digital Edition Digital Edition
Log in Log In My Account My Account
Subscribe
CLOSE
The Gazette
Subscribe
My Account
  • News
    • All News
    • Election 2020
    • Coronavirus
    • Business News
    • Community
    • Crime and Courts
    • Education
    • Government
    • Health
    • Nation and World
    • Time Machine
    • Search Archive

    Our Journalists

    • Rod Boshart
    • Lee Hermiston
    • Erin Jordan
    • James Q. Lynch
    • Trish Mehaffey
    • Vanessa Miller
    • Kat Russell
    • Grace King
    • John Steppe
    • Gage Miskimen
    • Marissa Payne
  • Sports
    • All Sports
    • Iowa Hawkeyes
    • Hawkeye Football
    • Hawkeye Basketball
    • Prep Sports
    • Prep Volleyball
    • Prep Football
    • Prep Basketball
    • Prep Wrestling
    • Iowa State Cyclones
    • UNI Panthers
    • Small College Sports
    • Minor League Sports
    • Outdoors

    Sports Desk

    • Mike Hlas
    • Jeff Johnson
    • Jeff Linder
    • J.R. Ogden
    • K.J. Pilcher
    • Leah Vann
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Editorial Mission
    • Guest Columnists
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Political Cartoons
    • Staff Columnists
    • Staff Editorials
    • Submit a Letter or Column

    Our Columnists

    • Todd Dorman
    • Adam Sullivan
  • Food and Drink
    • All Food and Drink
    • Chew on This
    • Recipes
    • Restaurants
  • Business
    • All Business
    • Agriculture
    • Business Notes
    • Companies
    • Personal Finance
    • Economy
    • Employment
    • Energy
    • Manufacturing
    • Openings & Closures
    • Real Estate
    • Retail
    • Small Business
    • Transportation

    Our Journalists

    • Rod Boshart
    • Erin Jordan
    • John Steppe
  • Obituaries
    • All Obituaries
    • In Memory Of
    • Submit an Obituary
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • Daily News Podcast
    • Fact Checker
    • Hlastradamus Odds
    • Iowa Prep Sports
    • On Iowa
    • On Iowa Politics
    • On UNI
    • Pinning Combination
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • Art
    • Books
    • Museums & Galleries
    • Music
    • Theater
    • Things To Do
  • Living
    • All Living
    • Health & Wellness
    • Home & Garden
    • Milestones
    • People & Places
    • Pets & Animals
    • Recreation
    • Religion & Belief
    • Travel

    Our Writers

    • Diana Nollen
  • Kids Gazette
    • See All
    • Kids Cooking Series
    • Kids Galleries
    • Printables
    • Activities
    • Articles
    • Submissions
    • Resources
  • Photos
    • All Photos and Videos
    • The Iowa Photo
    • Photo Store

    Our Photojournalists

    • Andy Abeyta
    • Liz Martin
    • Rebecca Miller
    • Jim Slosiarek
    • Gazette Visuals
  • Milestones
    • All Milestones
    • Anniversaries
    • Days To Remember
    • Engagements
    • Holidays
    • In Remembrance
    • New Arrivals
    • Thank Yous
    • Submit a Milestone
  • Data
    • Arrests
    • Building Permits
    • Interactive Maps & Charts
    • Salaries
  • Gazette Sites
    • Classifieds
    • Corridor Careers
    • Garage Sales
    • Gazette Gives Back
    • Gazette Rewards
    • Gazette Store
    • Green Gazette
    • HER
    • Iowa Wedding Experience
    • Holiday Light Finder
    • Hoopla
    • Iowa Ideas
    • Photo Store
  • Special Events
  • Special Sections
  • Other
    • About The Gazette
    • Archives
    • Article Removal
    • Business Directory
    • CR Arrest Database
    • Mobile Apps
    • Customer Care
    • Order Back Issues
    • Privacy Policies
    • Puzzle Answers
    • Sponsorship Requests
    • Submit a Letter
    • Weather
Daily News PodcastDaily News Podcast
Daily NewslettersDaily Newsletters
Log out

FOLLOW US

The Gazette
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
  • Food and Drink
  • Business
  • Obituaries
  • Podcasts
  • Entertainment
  • Living
  • Kids Gazette
  • Photos
  • Milestones
  • Data
  • Gazette Sites
  • Special Events
  • Special Sections
  • Other
  • All News
  • Election 2020
  • Coronavirus
  • Business News
  • Community
  • Crime and Courts
  • Education
  • Government
  • Health
  • Nation and World
  • Time Machine
  • Search Archive

Our Journalists

  • Rod Boshart
  • Lee Hermiston
  • Erin Jordan
  • James Q. Lynch
  • Trish Mehaffey
  • Vanessa Miller
  • Kat Russell
  • Grace King
  • John Steppe
  • Gage Miskimen
  • Marissa Payne
  • All Sports
  • Iowa Hawkeyes
  • Hawkeye Football
  • Hawkeye Basketball
  • Prep Sports
  • Prep Volleyball
  • Prep Football
  • Prep Basketball
  • Prep Wrestling
  • Iowa State Cyclones
  • UNI Panthers
  • Small College Sports
  • Minor League Sports
  • Outdoors

Sports Desk

  • Mike Hlas
  • Jeff Johnson
  • Jeff Linder
  • J.R. Ogden
  • K.J. Pilcher
  • Leah Vann
  • All Opinion
  • Editorial Mission
  • Guest Columnists
  • Letters to the Editor
  • Political Cartoons
  • Staff Columnists
  • Staff Editorials
  • Submit a Letter or Column

Our Columnists

  • Todd Dorman
  • Adam Sullivan
  • All Food and Drink
  • Chew on This
  • Recipes
  • Restaurants
  • All Business
  • Agriculture
  • Business Notes
  • Companies
  • Personal Finance
  • Economy
  • Employment
  • Energy
  • Manufacturing
  • Openings & Closures
  • Real Estate
  • Retail
  • Small Business
  • Transportation

Our Journalists

  • Rod Boshart
  • Erin Jordan
  • John Steppe
  • All Obituaries
  • In Memory Of
  • Submit an Obituary
  • All Podcasts
  • Daily News Podcast
  • Fact Checker
  • Hlastradamus Odds
  • Iowa Prep Sports
  • On Iowa
  • On Iowa Politics
  • On UNI
  • Pinning Combination
  • All Entertainment
  • Art
  • Books
  • Museums & Galleries
  • Music
  • Theater
  • Things To Do
  • All Living
  • Health & Wellness
  • Home & Garden
  • Milestones
  • People & Places
  • Pets & Animals
  • Recreation
  • Religion & Belief
  • Travel

Our Writers

  • Diana Nollen
  • See All
  • Kids Cooking Series
  • Kids Galleries
  • Printables
  • Activities
  • Articles
  • Submissions
  • Resources
  • All Photos and Videos
  • The Iowa Photo
  • Photo Store

Our Photojournalists

  • Andy Abeyta
  • Liz Martin
  • Rebecca Miller
  • Jim Slosiarek
  • Gazette Visuals
  • All Milestones
  • Anniversaries
  • Days To Remember
  • Engagements
  • Holidays
  • In Remembrance
  • New Arrivals
  • Thank Yous
  • Submit a Milestone
  • Arrests
  • Building Permits
  • Interactive Maps & Charts
  • Salaries
  • Classifieds
  • Corridor Careers
  • Garage Sales
  • Gazette Gives Back
  • Gazette Rewards
  • Gazette Store
  • Green Gazette
  • HER
  • Iowa Wedding Experience
  • Holiday Light Finder
  • Hoopla
  • Iowa Ideas
  • Photo Store
  • About The Gazette
  • Archives
  • Article Removal
  • Business Directory
  • CR Arrest Database
  • Mobile Apps
  • Customer Care
  • Order Back Issues
  • Privacy Policies
  • Puzzle Answers
  • Sponsorship Requests
  • Submit a Letter
  • Weather
Daily News PodcastDaily News Podcast Daily NewslettersDaily Newsletters
LOG OUT

FOLLOW US

More Stories

Marion school board votes 5-2 to no longer consider ’Mavericks’

University of Iowa presidential finalist Osofsky tackles questions of free…

24-hour COVID-19 vaccine clinic to take place this weekend

'A way to start over again’: Collaboration aims to replant…

Iowa’s public works needs ignored too long, White House reports

House GOP calls for freezing funding for ‘bloated’ regents universities

More than 750,000 Iowans are fully vaccinated against COVID-19

Biden wants infrastructure deal, but GOP doubts persist

Home / Life

How to help families facing addiction

By Jacob Priest, correspondent Mar. 12, 2021 10:00 am Updated: Mar. 11, 2021 5:45 pm
How to help families facing addiction

A  few weeks back, I wrote about setting boundaries. I talked about the importance of yeses and nos, and strategies for creating healthy boundaries. A reader wrote in with great questions about boundaries. What do you do when the person you are trying to set a boundary has an addiction? And, are there resources available that can help?

Addictions can have devastating consequences for families. Not only can they strain relationships, but they also can result in issues with money, safety, and in the saddest cases, death.

My expertise is not in addiction, but in my practice, I've met with families whose lives have been stung by it. Many parents are exhausted as they have expended both emotional and financial resources to help a struggling child. Spouses are heartbroken when they see the health and personality of the person they married change. Kids with addicted caregivers live with the scars of addiction often well into adulthood.

I want to address the questions about resources first. If you have a loved one who struggles with addiction, get your own therapist if you can. Managing all the pain of addiction and boundaries that are sure to be blurred can be overwhelming. Having a therapist to be able to provide emotional support, insight and help you navigate and set appropriate boundaries is important. If a therapist isn't for you, try attending a support group with people who share similar experiences.

Also, try to enlist a friend - one who isn't too close to the family member who is struggling with addiction - to be your confidant. Tell them about the loved one who is struggling with addiction and ask them to be your sounding board. You can tell them that you don't need advice or ideas, just someone to lean on when you are worried, stressed or scared.

Therapy and a confidant can be useful resources, but sometimes it also feels helpful to do something. One thing you can do to help set better boundaries with your loved one who is addicted is to begin to advocate for changes in your community's response to addiction. Addiction is an issue that is often treated with punishment, when what is needed is help. If you have the time and the resources, get involved in your community and advocate for polices that support and help those with addiction.

Addiction in a family can be isolating. When a family feels isolated, boundaries are hard to set and keep. If you can use your voice to help leaders and policy makers understand the importance of helping those with addiction, the isolation can be alleviated. If families who have a loved one struggling with addiction can advocate for polices that help and support those with addiction, then setting boundaries can be easier. When we feel like the weight of responsibility for taking care of a loved one with an addiction is shared, and when resources are available, it not only can help those who are addicted, it can improve family relationships.

Unfortunately, there isn't an easy path when it come to helping a loved one who struggles with addiction, but there is hope. When we or a loved one struggle, we often turn inward and feel isolated. If we can find the strength to get help ourselves - from a therapist, support group, or close friend, we can then look outward and advocate. As we advocate, we can change the current system of punishment that is often used to treat addiction and help create a community that help and support those with addiction and their family members.

Jacob Priest is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a professor in the University of Iowa College of Education. He is also the co-host of the Attached Podcast. Comments: priestjb@gmail.com

Photo by Liz Zabel

Trending

  • Teacher-student sex scandal: The story so far

    Molly Duffy

  • Technology helping Eastern Iowans connect

    Vanessa Miller

  • Enyi Uwazurike taking on bigger leadership role for Iowa State

    Ben Visser

  • Adam Sullivan

    Adam Sullivan

  • SwineTech closes latest $1.5 million funding round

    Null

Give us feedback

We work hard to provide fair, accurate coverage because we value your trust. If you find an error or omission in our reporting, please tell us here.

Submit a story idea

Do you have a story idea that we should look into? Please tell us here.

Related Stories

Boost your immunity with what you put on your plate

Boost your immunity with what you put on your plate

By Maggie Ireland, for The Gazette Health & Wellness Feb. 3, 2021 6:12 pm

COVID-19 survivors can donate plasma to help others

COVID-19 survivors can donate plasma to help others

By Carrie Campbell, for The Gazette Health & Wellness Feb. 5, 2021 10:58 am

Iowa running coach also teaches boys about feelings, healthy habits

Iowa running coach also teaches boys about feelings, healthy habits

Kat Russell Community Dec. 12, 2019 4:05 pm

Life

Sowing Success

Sowing Success

Dorothy de Souza Guedes

Home & Garden Apr. 11, 2021 1:45 pm

Twisters gymnastics teams shine at state tournaments

Twisters gymnastics teams shine at state tournaments

Community

Recreation Apr. 9, 2021 12:46 pm

Find the perfect quilt this weekend at Quilt Amana, inaugural…

Find the perfect quilt this weekend at Quilt Amana, inaugural…

Diana Nollen

Community Apr. 7, 2021 2:03 pm

Iowa Senate passes mental health funding changes

Iowa Senate passes mental health funding changes

Rod Boshart

State Government Apr. 6, 2021 9:59 pm

Health & Wellness

We must build support for people facing mental illness

We must build support for people facing mental illness

N/A

Living Apr. 2, 2021 11:25 am

Communities help shape its residents

Communities help shape its residents

By Jacob Priest, correspondent

Living Mar. 25, 2021 7:26 pm

As colon cancer rates rise among young adults, doctors advocate…

As colon cancer rates rise among young adults, doctors advocate…

Michaela Ramm

Living Mar. 25, 2021 7:25 pm

Running on empty? Take time for self-care

Running on empty? Take time for self-care

By Bryan Busch, The Gazette

Living Mar. 18, 2021 7:02 pm

News

More than 750,000 Iowans are fully vaccinated against COVID-19

More than 750,000 Iowans are fully vaccinated against COVID-19

Kat Russell

Health Care and Medicine Apr. 12, 2021 7:16 pm

Biden wants infrastructure deal, but GOP doubts persist

Biden wants infrastructure deal, but GOP doubts persist

AP

News Apr. 12, 2021 6:54 pm

Tennessee school shooting kills 1, wounds police officer

Tennessee school shooting kills 1, wounds police officer

AP

News Apr. 12, 2021 6:53 pm

Police: Minnesota officer meant to draw Taser, not handgun

Police: Minnesota officer meant to draw Taser, not handgun

AP

News Apr. 12, 2021 6:51 pm

Sports

Kelly Proesch finds her own niche, writes her own success…

Kelly Proesch finds her own niche, writes her own success…

Jeff Linder

Sports Apr. 12, 2021 9:21 pm

Kirkwood ready for national volleyball tournament

Kirkwood ready for national volleyball tournament

K.J. Pilcher

Sports Apr. 12, 2021 7:42 pm

Enyi Uwazurike taking on bigger leadership role for Iowa State

Enyi Uwazurike taking on bigger leadership role for Iowa State

Ben Visser

Sports Apr. 12, 2021 6:49 pm

Liam Robbins transferring from Minnesota to Vanderbilt, not Iowa

Liam Robbins transferring from Minnesota to Vanderbilt, not Iowa

Mike Hlas

Hawkeye Basketball Apr. 12, 2021 3:56 pm

FOLLOW US

The Gazette is Iowa’s independent, employee-owned source for local, state, and national news coverage.

© 2021 The Gazette

All Rights Reserved.

  • Advertise with us
  • Privacy
  • Web Accessibility

Contact Us

  • 116 3rd St SE
    Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52401
  • customercare@thegazette.com
  • (319) 398-8333
  • Live Chat

Links

  • Puzzle Answers
  • CR Arrest Database
  • Article Removal Request
  • Archives
  • Green Gazette
  • Corridor Careers Jobs
  • Work at The Gazette
  • Customer Care

© 2021 The Gazette

All Rights Reserved.

  • Advertise with us
  • Privacy
  • Web Accessibility
Folience A Folience Company