Commit to be Fit: Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to focus on self-love

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you may be thinking about the ways you want to express love to those you hold dear. This year, how about focusing your attention on the most important relationship you will ever have; the relationship you have with yourself.

Having a healthy and loving relationship with yourself is key to living an authentic, happy life and is the foundation for having significant, loving and healthy relationships with others. Often we look to others for affirmation, as a way to determine our sense of worth; but the truth is that each one of us is responsible for our own sense of worth and personal happiness. If you are feeling unhappy or stuck, you are the only one with the power to change your reality.

If you are interested and willing to boost self-love, it starts with the belief that since you exist, you are significant and worthy of love. Divine Love is a basic tenet and belief of most major religions and faith communities. Another way to boost self-love is to live a life aligned with your highest intentions.

I used to think about self-love as actions I took to make myself feel good in the moment, like indulging in a sweet treat, relaxing with a glass of wine or a favorite TV show. But after listening to an inspiring podcast with life coach Brook Castillo, I was challenged to look at these actions as little indulgences that may allow me to relax and enjoy the moment, but in the long run, she suggests that the greatest form of self-love is actually self-discipline.

Self-discipline? Well, that’s no fun. I don’t want to feel restricted or confined. How does self-discipline translate into self-love? Sounds more like self-punishment.

But what I am learning is that self-discipline is not about punishment or restriction, it’s really about love for your future self. Being disciplined is understanding that the actions you take today have direct consequences for tomorrow’s version of yourself. Self-discipline is the ability to delay instant gratification so that your current actions align with your goals/intentions and what you desire for your future self.

When you make up your mind about what you really want, this knowledge and self-awareness will provide the impetus you need to set boundaries, establish new habits and take action steps toward the vision you have for yourself. Every time you make a decision honoring your best intentions, you strengthen your resolve and find your present and future self rejoicing.

Self-love also may be described as truly and deeply appreciating who you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love, nobody is. It’s a willingness to accept yourself as you are, learn from mistakes and grow as a result. Unconditional love is a gift you give to yourself and others. It will provide you with an inner peace that will serve as the foundation of how you love and give of yourself to others. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Kylie Alger is a certified wellness coach and co-owner of the Well-Woman: Body, Mind & Spirit. Comments: kylie@thewellwoman.org.