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Hlastradamus was challenged to predict the entree for Thanksgiving dinner in 2021.
He thought on it for weeks, then proclaimed “Turkey!”
No big deal, you say. Well, he was asked that several centuries ago, before Thanksgiving Day was a thing, let alone Black Friday. So that was mighty impressive.
The seer (28-21 against the spread this season) moved on to picking college football games sometime in the last 500 years, and has some winners for you as you finish off your ... turkey!
Iowa -1.5 vs. Nebraska
Hlastradamus was pounding on our psychic door earlier this week when the lines came out and the Hawkeyes were 3-point, 3.5-point, even 4-point underdogs. But we don’t report his picks on Sundays because mortals have limited attention spans and memories, and wouldn’t remember his words by Tuesday, let alone the day of the game.
Nebraska quarterback Adrian Martinez was ruled out, the line moved, and it just doesn’t matter. Because the prophet says there is a rule in sports betting. Namely, take the team that is 9-2 to win whenever it plays a team that is 3-8.
Iowa State -15 vs. TCU
It’s a lot of points. But the Cyclones have frustration to take out on somebody, and that’s the Horned Frogs.
TCU is 5-6. Never wager on a 5-6 major-college team. Why? Because if it wins it will be 6-6 and forced to go to a really mediocre bowl game. Players aren’t stupid.
That rule, by the way, doesn’t apply for Saturday’s Maryland-Rutgers game. Both are 5-6, and someone has to bite the bullet and win so they can play in the (gasp!) Pinstripe Bowl.
Bundle up, winners.
Ohio State -8 at Michigan
Hlastradamus has no explanation for this other than he thinks Jim Harbaugh with glasses reminds him of Michael Douglas in the movie “Falling Down.”
Illinois -6.5 vs. Northwestern
Have you seen Northwestern in its last four games?
The Wildcats lost by 18 to Purdue in Wrigley Field last Saturday. No one had lost by that much at Wrigley since, well, the Cubs a couple months ago.
Wisconsin -7 at Minnesota
The prophet says you don’t really think the Badgers will cough up the Big Ten West title at Minnesota, do you?
Then they’ll lose to the East champion in Indianapolis like the West champ always does, assuring the Big Ten gets a team in the College Football Playoff.
Isn’t it good when a conference has a plan?