My political endorsement: Do the right thing. Always do the right thing.

I don’t think I’m at liberty in my job as a newspaper/website/newspaper website to endorse political candidates.

Which is how it should be. You certainly don’t need any endorsements from a schmuck like myself and I don’t need the enemies they would make. Plus, if my favored candidates lost it would mean I failed to sway the world, and my fragile ego couldn’t handle such a blow.

But I’m doing the following to be on the record, and have a clear conscience after the wrong choices made by the electorate lead us ever closer to doom.

Here are my guidelines on voting. Heed them, or face the prospect of a world without pity.

1. Be wary of hypocrites.

If a candidate has changed select positions, it’s not always a red flag. Being open-minded and flexible are qualities we should respect, and changing views after getting more and better information is a virtue.

Those who say one thing and do another, though, are not to be trusted with borrowing $10 let alone running for elective office.

2. Show phonies the door.

Look into candidates’ souls. Do they want to make life better for you or for them? If they say you, ask them why and how. If they stammer, tell them to hit the bricks.

Do they say things that actually mean something, or are they hung up on buzz words and talking points? If they strike you as phony, give them the hook. Phonies aren’t famous for becoming pure of heart once they win elections.

3. Choose hope, not fear.

Fear is part of every candidate’s shtick. No one runs a competitive political race without cutting down the opponent and warning you of the grave consequences of a life with that opponent in charge.

So get past that, and pay attention to whomever also offers constructive goals, plans and messages. If someone is all-negative, all the time, that person is lacking in ideas and imagination. Ideas and imagination is how we got from living in caves to where we are today.

Think of good leaders of the past who did good things in office. How many campaigned strictly on fear as opposed to progress and thinking big? That fear stuff is a drag, man.

4. The environment matters.

I’m not going to beat you over the head about this one. You either care or you don’t. I’ll (probably) be off this rock before Miami Beach and Manhattan are underwater, and I can handle a few more blazing hot summers. What you want for your kids and their kids and their kids and their kids is your deal, not mine.

One more derecho or 500-year flood in Cedar Rapids, though, and I’ll fistfight any fool who doesn’t help me get water out of my basement or remove fallen trees from my roof.

And I’m a lover, not a fighter.

5. Look at who stands with candidates.

If bright, clearheaded, concerned people you respect support a candidate, it says something.

If a candidate happily accepts the endorsement of someone who, say, was fine with an attempted overthrow of the government? You may want to pause to think carefully. If a candidate won’t condemn those who samba with sedition and tango with treason, it seems like something that warrants an explanation.

6. You may want to question election-deniers. But that’s up to you.

Maybe they’re all quite sane. Maybe they’re the best and the brightest, in fact.

I surely wouldn’t suggest otherwise. They get upset.