Grinnell College’s 2017 football team had a tough go of it, finishing 1-9 with losses of 64-13 to St. Norbert, 55-0 to Ripon, and 70-6 to Lake Forest.
But the Pioneers can always say they were better than the winner of this season’s College Football Playoff, the Alabama Crimson Tide.
The proof is in the scores, people. Grinnell, as the accompanying chart shows, was better than Cornell College because it lost to Monmouth by just 49 points, while Cornell fell to Monmouth by 51. We’ll conveniently ignore the nagging detail that Cornell beat Grinnell, 41-20.
So since Grinnell is better than Cornell, and Cornell beat Knox, which beat Ripon, which beat Chicago ... and since South Alabama beat Troy, which beat LSU, which beat Auburn, which beat Alabama, Grinnell is better than Alabama.
While we’re at it, Grinnell also is better than Trinity Bible. On Sept. 9, the Pioneers went to Ellendale, N.D., and knocked off the Lions, 15-6.
Trinity Bible (2-5) also is better than Alabama since it beat Finlandia by 23 points while Lawrence beat Finlandia by just 5, and Lawrence lost to Macalester by just 3 points while Ripon fell to Macalester by 16, and Ripon beat Chicago, and ... South Alabama beat Troy, which beat LSU, which beat Auburn, which beat Alabama.
Thanks to myteamisbetterthanyourteam.com. I have no idea how all these websites work or why they exist, and it’s probably best not to know.