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There are no bye-weeks for prophets. The future is always there, demanding to be foretold.
The future is kind of a pest, to be honest.
Now, this week’s winners:
Hlastradamus’ files were burglarized recently, so his point-spread history only extends back to 1993. His psychic powers don’t go backward, just forward. So he doesn’t know the last time the Cyclones were favored by more than 21.5 points.
But it was before 1993.
The last time they were favored by 21 points was 2002, when they played Kansas in Ames. The final that day was Iowa State 45, Kansas 3.
This is a lot of points. A lot of points. And as well as Kyle Kempt played in his first start last week at Oklahoma, can you reasonably expect a second-straight dazzling performance?
If you say no, ask yourself this: Could you have reasonably expected the Cyclones to win at Norman last week?
Lay the points.
The Huskers have never been this big of a home underdog since 1957.
No, this isn’t a contradiction. Hlastradamus’ pre-1993 records were burglarized. But he read that 1957 factoid somewhere this week and accepts it as sacred truth.
The prophet knows Ohio State has grown back into monster mode. He knows Nebraska is swimming in a Big Red pool of self-doubt.
But that’s a lot of points.
Purdue is a nice story. At 3-2, the Boilermakers have already topped the Vegas preseason over/under number for wins set for them this year.
But they didn’t really do much against Minnesota’s defense last week, and didn’t do anything against Michigan’s defense in the game before that.
Wisconsin will do what it does, which is whomp the Boilers. The Badgers have an 11-game win streak over Purdue. The last nine of those games were all decided by at least 17 points.
In the prophecy biz, that’s called a pattern.
No, it doesn’t look like Jim Harbaugh has a healthy quarterback who can play at an elite level.
But he’s had another week to coach up whomever it is will take snaps at Bloomington, and he does know a bit about the art of quarterbacking.
Hey, Colin Kaepernick was a first-team QB in San Francisco under Harbs. Now Kaepernick isn’t good enough to even get a roster spot anywhere. Go figure.
Indiana has played two big boys. It lost by 28 points at home to Ohio State and by 31 at Penn State. Michigan can handle the 7.5.
Hlastradamus remembers a sporting event this woeful back in the 16th Century. Ruy Lopez faced Pedro Damiano in chess, and you know the rest.
You can’t call this a pillow fight, because you can catch an edge of a pillow in the eye. That can sting.
But why this line is so low, there is no explanation. The Illini at least looked like a football team at Iowa last week. This is the seer’s Lock of the Year.
By the way, tickets for this game are selling for as low as $6 on StubHub.
You do get a bowl of soup with that.