Sep 11, 2016 at 12:19 pm | Print View
Big Ten power rankings for people who think knowledge is power. Good luck outsmarting an angry cobra or grizzly with your enlightenment.
1. Wisconsin (2-0): Jazz Peavy had two touchdown catches in the Badgers’ 54-10 win over Akron. As if having the coolest name in the world weren’t enough.
2. Ohio State (2-0): Lightning that extended halftime to 70 minutes was much scarier than the Golden Hurricane in OSU’s 48-3 breeze.
3. Michigan (2-0): After beating UCF 51-14, Wolverines tight end Jake Butt said “We were up 30 points but we wanted to be up 40.” What a dismal failure to win by just 37.
4. Iowa (2-0): A 9-0 Michigan team visits a 9-0 Iowa team on Nov. 12, and (sorry, head just exploded).
5. Nebraska (2-0): After beating Wyoming, 52-17, the Huskers prepare to play Oregon in Lincoln. The Hawkeyes play the same team in Kinnick next year. Wyoming, that is, not Oregon.
6. Maryland (2-0): The Terrapins’ magic number to qualify for the Pinstripe Bowl is 4.
7. Florida International (0-2): FIU opened the season with home games against Big Ten teams Indiana and Maryland. The total attendance for the two games was 33,173. Either FIU’s athletic director is a master magician or an extortionist.
8. Indiana (2-0): Hoosiers snapped a 3-game losing streak against Ball State with their 30-20 win. Their 21-game losing streak against Ohio State will have to wait. And wait.
9. Minnesota (2-0): Gophers quarterback Mitch Leidner said Indiana State players danced on the midfield ‘M’ before the game, disrespecting Minnesota. That was shocking. Who knew people from Terre Haute could dance?
10. Michigan State (1-0): You play Furman in your opener and then need a week off? Is Mark Dantonio running a Club Med up there?
11. Penn State (1-1): The Nittany Lions didn’t read the scouting report of Pittsburgh before losing 42-39 to the Panthers. Iowa could have told the Lions you have to kick 57-yard, last-second field goals against those guys.
12. Illinois (1-1): First Illini football home sellout since 2011. North Carolina 48, Illinois 23. “I thought we were ready for prime time,” said Illini Coach Lovie Smith. That’s the worst miscalculation since the decision to make a movie out of “Entourage.”
13. Rutgers (1-1): After drilling Howard, Rutgers wants to schedule Robin, Fred and Baba Booey.
14. Purdue (1-1): Allowed Cincinnati to get its first road win over a Big Ten team since 1957. The Big 12 promptly rejected Purdue’s request for admission.
15. Oklahoma State (1-1): Mike Gundy and T. Boone Pickens probably didn’t say any Hail Marys before going to sleep Saturday night.
16. Northwestern (0-2): You have lost to Western Michigan and Illinois State at home. You no longer are Chicago’s Big Ten team. You aren’t even Evanston’s.