I almost tapped out Sunday morning.
The comments regarding Iowa Hawkeyes football at my TheGazette.com blog, The Hlog, were 100 percent negative Saturday night and throughout Sunday. What could I possibly write the day after Iowa's 28-17 loss at Northwestern to comfort the afflicted Hawkeye fans?
I've got nothing. However, misery supposedly loves company. No one watches the Real Housewives of Wherever because the "housewives" are happy, fulfilled people. They're paranoid, disturbed train-wrecks, and America loves it!
So, you Hawkeye people who got used to a certain level of football success and now see it out of your grasp should know this: You are not alone. Fans of several teams are leading lives of not-so-quiet desperation. Know about their misery, and revel in it.
Auburn: Oh my. Oh my, my, my.
Two years ago Gene Chizik led the War Eagles to the national-championship. Well, Cam Newton led them to that glorious unbeaten season, but why quibble?
Today, Auburn is 1-7 overall, 0-6 in the SEC. Saturday night at home, Chizik's team lost to Texas A&M, 63-21. The Aggies gained 671 yards. It was Auburn's worst loss since 1917.
The Iowa State team Chizik jilted for Auburn is 5-3 with wins this year over TCU and Baylor, who were a combined 21-5 last season.
Texas: OK, the Longhorns' 6-2 record is all right. Unless you're a Texas fan.
The Horns are 9-13 in the Big 12 since going to the 2009 BCS championship game. Of their two games that mattered most so far this season, they lost at home to West Virginia, and they got mutilated 63-21 by Oklahoma in Dallas. Last year, they lost to the Sooners, 55-17.
Saturday, Texas needed a touchdown with 12 seconds left to beat Kansas, 21-17. That's right. Kansas.
Mack Brown coached Texas to the 2005 national-title. That just doesn't matter in 2012.
Tennessee: The Volunteers are 0-5 in the SEC. It's too bad they don't play Auburn.
ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ADVERTISEMENT
Tennessee has had 10 or more wins nine times since 1993. But they're 26-32 since the start of the 2008 season.
That isn't acceptable in a place like Tennessee, which has a stadium that seats 102,455. That's a lot of unhappy people in one place.
Miami: This used to be a college football focal point. The Hurricanes were 46-4 from 2000 to 2003. Those days are gone, gone, gone.
Now Miami is 17-16 since the start of the 2010 season. It is 4-4 this season, and got buried at Kansas State and Notre Dame.
The 'Canes have something worse than anger from their fans. They have apathy.
There are so many other examples. Oklahoma fans have a standard they demand. That isn't going to an Insight Bowl, like they did last year. That standard certainly wasn't met Saturday night when the Sooners lost 30-13 to Notre Dame in Norman.
Michigan had a Sugar Bowl season last year, but still isn't the Michigan of yore. Not at 5-3, with prime-time failures against Alabama, Notre Dame, and now Nebraska.
Virginia Tech had either 10 or 11 wins every year from 2004 to 2011. This year's Hokies are 4-4.
Arkansas went from terrific to lousy overnight. USC, the preseason No. 1 team, has lost at Stanford and now Arizona. Missouri hopped into the SEC and quickly found out it couldn't come closer than 21 points to either Georgia, South Carolina or Alabama, and couldn't even beat Vanderbilt in Columbia.
So, dear Hawkeye fans, does all this help?
I didn't think so.