Let's start with the notion that the Big Ten Conference has power worth rating.
Wasn't exactly a jewel this week, but coal does turn into diamonds in millions of years, so there's hope.
1) Ohio State -- Might have the most talent in the Big Ten. Too bad Jim Tressel didn't do what he should've done. Next: Central Florida
2) Michigan State -- So, the QB thing, let's see how Andrew Maxwell plays out. So many fun and mean defensive players. Next: at Central Michigan
3) Nebraska -- So, this QB thing, looks like Taylor Martinez has this figured out: 26 of 34 completions, 354 passing yards, five touchdowns and 10 receivers. 76.5 percent. No interceptions. Next: at UCLA
4) Wisconsin -- Pretty great game from the QB and I mean Sawyer Kollmorgen, who in his first start for FCS Northern Iowa gave Wisconsin a scare at Camp Randall. Next: at Oregon State
5) Michigan -- Flying bacon cars, those will be in the air the next time Michigan schedules a mega game. But hey, give UM credit for having the chunder to do this. Next: vs. Air Force
6) Iowa -- This game was a grunt sound, the kind you make lifting a safe or a bag of salt. Next: Iowa State
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7) Northwestern -- Suddenly in the second half, Northwestern fielded a bunch of those dancing baby faces from the "Just for Men, Mustache and Beard" commercial. Perhaps the creepiest thing ever. Next: Vanderbilt
8 ) Illinois -- I watched a little bit of this game in the press box before Iowa-NIU. I laughed, I cried, it was quite a journey. Next: at Arizona State
9) Purdue -- The Boilers beat FCS Eastern Kentucky, which is a bourbon or the softball team made up of extras from the cast of "Justified." Next: at Notre Dame
10) Minnesota -- The Gophers worked three OTs on the strip. It's like they've got to pay for college. Next: New Hampshire
11) Penn State -- I like Bill O'Brien. Seems tough-minded and just might be the perfect guy for this job. Still, it's going to be a . . . rhymes with witch. Next: at Virginia12) Indiana -- Rhymes with tomatoes. Next: at UMass