Hlastradamus is back, and with more wisdom than any given half-hour of "Two and a Half Men"

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Hlastradamus is making his college football predictions earlier than usual this week because he is on the road. Tonight he'll be headlining at Giggles in Worcester, Friday he's at the Laffing Academy in New Haven, and Saturday he's opening for Dane Cook at the Mohegan Sun Casino.

The mystic (15-16-1 this year) was 2-2-1 last week. So while there was no profit there, this week he did get enough write-in votes to become the junior U.S. senator from Alaska.

What about this week?

Penn State -6 vs. Northwestern. Penn State's elevator is going up. Until it goes to Ohio State next week.

Oklahoma State -7.5 vs. Baylor. The Cowboys haven't lost at home to Baylor since 1939.

Boise State -21.5 vs. Hawaii. It'll be a Blue Hawaii. Get it? Hlastradamus told everyone about Elvis way back in the 16th Century, but those fools wouldn't listen.

Utah +4.5 vs. TCU. TCU has allowed 16 points in its five Mountain West Conference games. Utah has averaged 43 points in MWC play. The prophet prefers offense.

Iowa -17 at Indiana. Iowa won 45-9 in Bloomington two years ago. The Hawkeyes are better now. The Hoosiers? Not necessarily.

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